IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

When there is a rise in the standard of living, people in the cities are more benefited than those in rural areas. Please give your opinion on the problems arising from this discrimination.

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when
Fix capitalization
When
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 there is a rise in the standard of living
people
Punctuation problem
, people
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 in the cities are more benefited
Linking Words
then
Use the right word
than
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 those in rural areas
it
Punctuation problem
. It
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 goes to consder for exmple people that are in rual area most likely to face new
problms
Correct your spelling
problems
 like the rise of gas or rent with no rise
of pay checks
Change preposition
in paychecks
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unlike
Punctuation problem
, unlike
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 cities that have so many
opprtonatis
Correct your spelling
opportunities
 to try
so
Punctuation problem
. So,
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 as a concolsn it will
effact
Correct your spelling
affect
 the rural area in a
negtive
Correct your spelling
negative
 way
unlike
Punctuation problem
, unlike
show examples
 the city

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coherence cohesion
Write in full sentences. Put one main idea in each part.
coherence cohesion
Use easy link words like first, also, because, and so.
coherence cohesion
Add a short start that gives your view, and a short end that repeats it.
task achievement
Answer all parts of the task. Talk more about the problems from this gap.
task achievement
Give clear examples, like higher food cost, less jobs, weak schools, or poor health care in villages.
task achievement
Explain each idea more. Say what the problem is, why it happens, and what result it brings.
task achievement
Your main view is clear: rural people are hurt more than city people.
task achievement
You give one real problem: prices go up but pay does not go up in rural areas.
coherence cohesion
You compare city and rural life, which fits the topic.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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