IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Should a city try to preserve its old, historic buildings or destroy them and replace them with modern buildings? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

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Obviously not. Every city has its own history and culture. Old buildings hold rich history
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 replacing them with modern
building
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buildings
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 will bring so much noise in the air
and
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, and
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 there will be a considerable debate on
this
Linking Words
 matter. So, it can be very unfortunate to even think something like that.

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task response
Answer the full question more clearly. Say if the city should keep old buildings, and explain why in more detail.
task response
Add one or two specific examples. For example, name a kind of old building and say how it helps the city.
task response
Develop your ideas more. Now the points are very short, so the reader cannot fully understand your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Use a clearer structure: first your opinion, then reasons, then a short ending.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like because, also, for example, and so.
coherence and cohesion
Make each sentence connect to the next one. Some parts now feel sudden or not fully joined.
task response
Your opinion is clear: you think cities should not destroy old buildings.
task response
You mention important ideas like history and culture, which fit the topic well.
coherence and cohesion
The essay stays on the topic and does not go far away from the question.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • preserve old buildings
  • historic place
  • part of history
  • cultural value
  • special character
  • local identity
  • tourist attraction
  • bring in money
  • repair and reuse
  • save resources
  • reduce waste
  • tear down
  • replace with
  • modern design
  • with care
  • find a balance
  • important landmark
  • learn from the past
  • city center
  • public building
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