The charts below show the share of the Swiss watch market by brand in 2020 and 2021. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. The image shows two pie charts comparing the share of the Swiss watch market by brand in 2020 and 2021. In 2020, Rolex had the largest share at 39.5%, followed by Omega at 15.6% and Cartier at 14.5%. Patek accounted for 10.3%, while Longines and AP made up 10.1% and 10% respectively. In 2021, Rolex increased its share to 46.7%, remaining the leading brand. Omega and Cartier recorded 12.7% and 13.8%, while Patek, Longines, and AP accounted for 8.8%, 8.9%, and 9.1% respectively.

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The chart gives information about the

market

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of Swiss hand

watch

Check wording

watches

show examples

by brand Between the

year

Fix the agreement mistake

years

show examples

2020 and 2021

Overall

Linking Words

it is clear that

Linking Words

Rolex

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has the highest

market

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expenditure among the other brands

While

Linking Words

its

Correct pronoun usage

it's

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considerable that

Omage

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Longines

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and

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have similar expands

on the other hand

Linking Words

patek was slightly exceeding

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cartier

Check wording

Cartier's

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expenditure

Punctuation problem

expenditure,

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although

Linking Words

pateks’

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drops in the next year . In 2020 The largest brands were

Rolex

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omega

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and

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cartier

Punctuation problem

Cartier.

show examples

Use synonyms

Rolex

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Rolex's

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proportion was the largest among them in

2020

Punctuation problem

2020,

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with 39.59% of

market

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profit

after it

Punctuation problem

. After that, Omega

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omega

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takes the second place with 15.6%

then

Linking Words

cartier

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with 14.5%

it is clear that

Linking Words

Use synonyms

cartier

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Cartier

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has the smallest popularity in 2020 .

Linking Words

however

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However

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, in 2021

omega

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lost the second place with 12.7%

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Linking Words

while

Punctuation problem

, while

show examples

Use synonyms

cartier

Fix capitalization

Cartier

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exceeded

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omega

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Omega

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with 13.8% in the field of watches .

Rolex

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has dominated the hand watch

market

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with 46.7% . In

2020

Punctuation problem

2020,

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the smallest brands were

Omage

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Longines

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and

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they

were

Wrong verb form

had

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slightly the same expenditure .

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omage

Fix capitalization

Omage

show examples

has 10.3%

while

Linking Words

Use synonyms

longines

Fix capitalization

Longines

show examples

and

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Fix capitalization

show examples

have 10.1% and 10% respectively In 2021 their popularity

were

Correct subject-verb agreement

was

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the same as

2020

Change preposition

in 2020

show examples

. expect that

Fix capitalization

show examples

Use synonyms

has the highest

market

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with 9.1%

Linking Words

then

Punctuation problem

, then

show examples

Use synonyms

longines

Fix capitalization

Longines

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with 8.9%

and

Punctuation problem

, and

show examples

the smallest was

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omage

Fix capitalization

Omage

show examples

with 8.8% .

dalya.sa7

Apr 15, 2026

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "it is clear that, while".

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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.

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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.

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Basic structure: Change the seventh paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words market, share, rolex, omage, longines, ap, cartier, omega with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the seventh paragraph.

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
8
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

7 paragraphs

211 words

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