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Writing Samples
Band 5

In recent years, more and more people are choosing to read e-books rather than paper books. Do the advantages of reading e-books outweigh its disadvantages? v.3

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In recent years, the
trend
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 of reading e -
books
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 has increased. In
Correct determiner usage
my opinion
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opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
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 the disadvantages of
this
Linking Words
trend
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 outweighs advantages because it causes poor eyesight and adversely effect book-store businesses. On
one
Correct article usage
the one
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 hand, reading
e-
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books
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 has several advantages. One of its merits is that it is
environment
Replace the word
environmentally
 friendly.
Books
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 are made of paper obtained from cutting trees ,
whereas
Linking Words
e-
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books
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 are available on digital screens.
As a result
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, the
use
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 of technology discourages the process involved in making
books
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 and saves
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
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.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
e-
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books
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 are convenient for
use
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.
E-
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books
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 are available on various applications on mobile phones and tablets.
This
Linking Words
 vast availability reduces the burden of carrying heavy
books
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while
Linking Words
 travelling or at work.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
e-
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books
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 can be more practical and
easy
Replace the word
easier
 to
use
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
trend
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 can
also
Linking Words
 have certain drawbacks.One of them is developing poor eyesight.If people read
books
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 on mobiles or tablets, they will be exposed to screens for
longer
Correct article usage
a longer
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 duration. It has been scientifically proven that the
radiations
Check wording
radiation
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 generated from
such
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 screens can have a negative impact on our eye power. Another disadvantage of
this
Linking Words
trend
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 is an adverse effect on bookstore businesses. The rising shift towards
e-
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books
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 will cause an excessive reduction in paper book sales.
As a result
Linking Words
 of
this
Linking Words
 decline, the local bookstores might eventually close their businesses
due to
Linking Words
less
Correct word choice
lower
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 profits. In conclusion, in my opinion disadvantages of
e-
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books
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Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
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 as
development
Correct article usage
the development
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 of weak eyesight and
negative
Correct article usage
a negative
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 impact on
bookstores
Punctuation problem
bookstores,
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 outweighs its advantages of being
environment
Replace the word
environmentally
 friendly and convenient in
use
Use synonyms
.

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task response
For task response, your answer is clear and you give both sides, but you need to explain more strongly why the bad points are greater than the good points.
task response
For task response, add one more clear example for each main point. This will make your ideas stronger and more complete.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay has a clear paragraph plan with introduction, body, and conclusion, which is good.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, some linking is not smooth. Use simple links like 'Firstly', 'Secondly', 'For example', and 'Therefore' more carefully.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, some sentences have small grammar and word form problems, and this makes the flow less easy to follow.
task response
You answer the question and give a clear opinion that the disadvantages are stronger.
task response
You discuss both advantages and disadvantages, so your essay is balanced.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear beginning, two body parts, and an ending.
coherence and cohesion
Most ideas are in a logical order, so the reader can follow your meaning.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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