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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Scientists predict that cars will be driven by computers, not people in the near future. Why? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

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There seems to be a moot point that robots will shortly be driving vehicles
instead
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 of humans. Presumably, modern technology has been developing rapidly and driving a car with a digital system is one of the great achievements of
this
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 era. Now, I will mull it over in order to lay my cards on the table. First and foremost, some individuals advocate that driverless cars are really helpful for old and disabled people. Especially for safety reasons, there are several sensors installed on the sides of the car which prevent traffic accidents. Albeit, it is believed that people become dependent on computers if human drivers are replaced by robots.
In particular
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, a certain portion of robots among humans started driving cars on the streets of a big city in the UAE.
That is
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 why there is no reason to avoid
such
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 a good opportunity for people who are not able to operate the vehicles themselves on busy roads. It is all I have explained
like
Correct word choice
as
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 the coin flips over two sides. When it comes to enunciating the second standpoint, it is evidently proven that saving time is the most valuable aspect of the driverless machine for today’s busy lifestyle of humans.
Moreover
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, they can provide transportation services and many types of delivery services. To cite my sibling as an example, when my brother was travelling abroad, he called a taxi. And
then
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 a car without a driver assisted to pick him up from the hotel and send him to the airport, and
this
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 was his first experience .
In other words
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, there are plenty of clients taking their services in order to save crucial time.
This
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 is the most pragmatic case , though. Taking everything above into the
last
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 but not least conclusion, I would firmly concur that driverless machines will replace human drivers soon because there is enough solid evidence of benefit from
this
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 new technology for individuals.
For instance
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: the disabled ones and the elderly age groups of society and busy ones started gaining the advantages of
this
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 positive development.

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task response
Answer both parts more clearly: say why this change will happen, and say more clearly why you think it is good or bad.
task response
Use simpler and more direct ideas. Some parts are hard to understand because the meaning is not clear.
task response
Give examples that match your main point more closely. One real or clear example is better than many general lines.
coherence and cohesion
Make each body paragraph have one main idea only. This will help your essay feel more clear.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas in a simple way. Some words are used, but the flow is not always smooth.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid very long or unusual phrases if they do not help the meaning. Clear language helps the reader follow your points.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear introduction and a clear ending.
task response
You give reasons and examples, so your essay is not empty.
task response
Your opinion is shown in the end, and the reader can understand your main view.
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