IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

In developed countries people are preferring more and more private cars. What are the impact of it? Discuss your views.

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In our modern era, some people hold the view that
privet
Correct your spelling
private
 cars are very important
their
Change preposition
in their
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 life and
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
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 believe that its waste of money.
However
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, I
storngly
Correct your spelling
strongly
 believe
thats
Correct your spelling
that
 personal cars are
relay
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really
 vital for
day to day
Correct your spelling
day-to-day
 life. So in
this
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essay
Add a comma
essay,
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 we will discuss why I completely agree with statment.
Firstly
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, there are many advantages and disadvantages in
this
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 view
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however
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; however
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 on
this
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essay
Punctuation problem
essay,
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 we will discuss what
are the beneficts in privet vehical
Correct word order
the benefits of private vehicles are
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. In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
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 some rich guys
allways pefer
Correct your spelling
always prefer
 to buy extra items
such
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 as
vehical
Correct your spelling
vehicles
, luxury things and others. So its realy help for
increase
Replace the word
increasing
 income in
Use synonyms
country
Correct article usage
the country
show examples
Punctuation problem
. Also,
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also
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 they payed lot of tax for
this
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Punctuation problem
. Therefore,
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therefore
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 that
also
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main
Verb problem
has main
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benificts
Correct your spelling
benefits
 for economic growth in
Use synonyms
country
Correct article usage
the country
show examples
as a
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. For
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 example
in
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, in
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sri lanka
Fix capitalization
Sri Lanka
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many
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, many
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 rich kids hate old and common cars
and
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, and
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 others
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. Due
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due to
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this
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situation
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situation,
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 many parents try to buy
own
Correct determiner usage
their own
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vehical
Correct your spelling
vehicles
 for them.
Althogh
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Although
 these things are
realy
Correct your spelling
really
 essential for
Use synonyms
country
Correct article usage
the country
show examples
.
Secondly
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, some adults hate to use public transport
so
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, so
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 they argue that
its
Use the right word
it's
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 not comfortable and some time its expensive
like
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, like
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this
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.
According to
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 my experince its defenitily ture public transport is the
disgussting servies
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disgusting services
 in many developed
country
Use synonyms
 namely
US
Correct article usage
the US
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, UK and Australian like that.
Furthermore
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,
lot
Correct article usage
a lot
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 of
indiviuals
Correct your spelling
individuals
 now try to improve technology in car specialy Elon marks try to make
car
Check wording
cars
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 without iron. In conclusion,
privet
Correct your spelling
private
 transportation is the best for everyone beacuse its not expensive.
On the other hand
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 govermnet must take responsibilty about that.

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task response
Answer both parts of the task more clearly. You need to talk about the impact of more private cars, not only your opinion about cars.
coherence cohesion
Make your main ideas easy to see. Put one clear main point in each body paragraph.
task response
Use simple and real examples that directly support your point.
coherence cohesion
Link ideas in a clear way. Some sentences do not connect well with the topic.
task response
Write a clear position and keep it the same through the whole essay.
coherence cohesion
You have an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task response
You try to give examples to support your ideas.
task response
Your opinion is given in the essay.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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