Many children have become habitual about excessively using mobile applications day and night. Why do you think this is so? What parents can do to avoid this situation declining further?

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there
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There
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is no doubt that smartphones play an essential role in our lives.Many kids have become habitual about excessively using mobile
application
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applications
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day and night. From my perspective,
parents
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should pay attention to their
children
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because
this
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application can damage their mental health. On the one hand,the main reason for
this
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parents
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are overworked and find it easier to give a child a tablet to keep them quiet,
for example
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,apps like
tik tokor
Correct your spelling
TikTok or
games are designed to be addictive by using bright colours and constant rewards.
On the other hand
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, there are several practical measures that
parents
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can implement to mitigate
this
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issue.
Firstly
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, it is crucial to establish strict boundaries regarding screen time.
For instance
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, creating "tech-free zones" during family meals or an hour before bedtime can help
children
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disconnect and improve their sleep quality.
Furthermore
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,
parents
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should actively encourage alternative recreational activities,
such
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as outdoor sports or reading, which foster real-world social skills rather than virtual ones. Perhaps most importantly, adults must lead by example; by reducing their own smartphone usage, they model healthy digital habits that their
children
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are likely to imitate. In conclusion, the primary reasons for excessive mobile app usage among
children
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are the addictive nature of modern technology and a lack of parental supervision.
However
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,
this
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situation can be reversed if
parents
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take a proactive role by setting firm limits and promoting a more balanced lifestyle. Ultimately, the goal is not to ban technology entirely, but to ensure it does not overshadow a child's healthy development.

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task response
Answer both parts more fully. You explain why this happens, but the part about what parents can do can have one more clear idea.
coherence and cohesion
Make your first body paragraph clearer. The line about parents being overworked needs better grammar, so the main point is easier to understand.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words more carefully. Some ideas move well, but a few sentences need smoother connection.
task response
Give one more specific example in the first body paragraph to support your point about app addiction.
task response
You answer both questions in the task.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
The second body paragraph is well organized and easy to follow.
task response
Your conclusion clearly sums up your main ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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