IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The graph below shows the numbers of overseas visitors who went to three different areas in a European country between 1987 and 2007. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The line graph demonstrates the overseas
visitors
Use synonyms
 to the
coast
Use synonyms
, the
mountains
Use synonyms
, and the lakes in a European country between 1987
to
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 2007. It is clear from the graph that the visitor rates of the
coast
Use synonyms
 and the
mountains
Use synonyms
 showed a steady but
fluctuated
Replace the word
fluctuating
 rise over the
period
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 the
number
Use synonyms
 of
visitors
Use synonyms
 in the lakes experienced a decline after 15 years soaring. In 1987, the
visitors
Use synonyms
’ numbers for the
coast
Use synonyms
 and the
mountains
Use synonyms
 were nearly 40 and 20
respectively
Punctuation problem
, respectively
show examples
.
Then
Linking Words
, both the
coast
Use synonyms
 and the
mountains
Use synonyms
 declined a little for a
while
Linking Words
. The
number
Use synonyms
 of
visitors
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the
coast
Use synonyms
 increased throughout the
period
Use synonyms
, exceeding the mountain’s
visitors
Use synonyms
 in
early
Correct article usage
the early
show examples
 2000s and reaching almost 75
at the end
Linking Words
 of the
period
Use synonyms
. In the meantime, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
visitors
Use synonyms
 fluctuated
about
Change preposition
for about
show examples
 5 years, and
then
Linking Words
 started climbing steadily over
years
Correct article usage
the years
show examples
. In 1987, the figure for the lakes was the lowest among these territories.
However
Linking Words
, it dramatically declined to the
number
Use synonyms
 of 75 in the early 2000s.
Then
Linking Words
, there was a growth of 25 units in 2002, but the
lakes’
Correct word order
number of visitors to the lakes
show examples
visitors
Use synonyms
number
Use synonyms
 was the lowest
at the end
Linking Words
 of the
period
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "at the end, while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words visitors, coast, mountains, period, number with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fluctuated" was used 2 times.
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