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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Multinational companies are becoming increasingly common in developing countries. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

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In recent times, the presence of multinational
companies
Use synonyms
is being
Wrong verb form
has been
show examples
 enhanced in developing nations. The
benefit
Correct subject-verb agreement
benefits
show examples
 of
this
Linking Words
 trend are
creation
Correct article usage
the creation
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 of more job opportunities and
generation
Correct article usage
the generation
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 of higher
tax
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 revenue for the government,
while
Linking Words
 the drawbacks are that intermediate
firms
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get
Verb problem
face
show examples
 strong competition in
market
Correct article usage
the market
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 and profits earned by
MNCs
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 move to
country
Correct article usage
the country
show examples
 it belongs. The significant advantage of having more
MNCs
Use synonyms
 in
nation
Correct article usage
a nation
show examples
 is that
more
Correct word choice
a greater
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 number of
work
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 opportunities
available
Verb problem
are available
show examples
. As multinational
companies
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 involve for wide
rage
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range
show examples
 of goods and services, they require
thousand
Check wording
thousands
show examples
 of employees to
fulfill
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fulfil
show examples
 their
work
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 demand.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, state governments
are benefited
Wrong verb form
benefit
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 as their corporate
tax
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 revenue
increased
Wrong verb form
increases
show examples
. Multinational
firms
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 handle numerous projects
simultaniously
Correct your spelling
simultaneously
 with
efficient
Correct article usage
an efficient
show examples
Use synonyms
work force
Correct your spelling
workforce
. Once those projects
completed
Verb problem
are completed
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,
companies
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 are liable to pay millions of dollars
corporate
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in corporate
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tax
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 to
local
Correct article usage
the local
show examples
 government.
As a result
Linking Words
,
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 will have
emorous
Correct your spelling
enormous
 amount of
tax
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 funds to develop their state.
For example
Linking Words
, a report published by BBC News says that 95
percentage
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per cent
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 of tier one cities are rapidly developed
due to
Linking Words
 having
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
show examples
 MNC in their boundaries. On the
otherside
Correct your spelling
other side
, small to intermediate
firms
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 are in direct competition with
MNCs
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 who are in
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 business. Multinational
companies
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 not only bring
reputation
Correct article usage
a reputation
show examples
 but
also
Linking Words
 have efficient mass workforces, which perform job assignment under budget.
Therefore
Linking Words
, clients prefer to
work
Use synonyms
 with
MNCs
Use synonyms
 over
the medium level
Replace the word
medium-sized
firms
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the profit
earnd
Correct your spelling
earned
 by these
companies
Use synonyms
 goes
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
 nation they belong
.
Change preposition
to.
show examples
 After performing business activities, profits are sent to their headquarters and
redistribute
Wrong verb form
redistributed
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 to other nations for their
further
Linking Words
 development.
For instance
Linking Words
, Microsoft office suit, every company uses their paid service in their countries, but Microsoft’s profit moves to the US. In conclusion,
MNCs
Use synonyms
 are seen everywhere
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
 developing nations because of having job and
tax
Use synonyms
 benefits,
while
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
progration
Correct your spelling
progression
 will casue to strong competition to national
firms
Use synonyms
 and move money outside of
nation
Correct article usage
the nation
show examples
.

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task response
Answer both sides in a more full way. Your main ideas are good, but some parts need more detail.
task response
Use clearer examples. The BBC and Microsoft examples help, but they need to be more exact and easy to link to your point.
coherence and cohesion
Make each body paragraph easy to follow. Start with one main idea, then explain it, then give one example.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words more carefully. Some parts feel hard to follow because the grammar breaks the flow.
coherence and cohesion
Check paragraph unity. In some lines, you add extra ideas that are not fully explained.
task response
You answered both the advantages and the disadvantages.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task response
Most main points are relevant to the topic.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Globalization
  • Multinational corporations (MNCs)
  • Foreign direct investment (FDI)
  • Developing economies
  • Infrastructure development
  • Capacity building
  • Cultural diversity
  • Sustainability
  • Corporate social responsibility (CSR)
  • Technological transfer
  • Economic disparity
  • Market saturation
  • Brain drain
  • Indigenous industries
  • Expatriate management
  • Trade imbalance
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