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Writing Samples
Band 5

The map show changes in a city in 1950 and now.

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The maps give detailed information about how the city has developed since 1950.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 there have been dramatic changes in the structure of the city , particularly in the development of the airport
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 and the
lake
Use synonyms
. It is
also
Linking Words
 worth mentioning that the river
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 and the
business
Use synonyms
 district have remained more or less unchanged over the given period. In 1950, looking at the details, the
business
Use synonyms
 district was located in the middle of the layout.
Whereas
Linking Words
 the major road was crossed from west to east, and south to north sides ,
and
Correct word choice
apply
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this
Linking Words
 structure looks like the shape of a plus. There were residential area which were next to the
business
Use synonyms
 district.
while
Linking Words
 the airport was situated on the
east
Replace the word
eastern
 border of the map. Looking at the river, the bottom of the
business
Use synonyms
districtwas
Correct your spelling
district was
 occupied, and there was a bridge to connect the major road in centre side. In a city with a population of 20,000 in the given years Until now, there have been changes,and new novelties, namely, a
lake
Use synonyms
 was built
though
Change preposition
through the
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 river next to the
business
Use synonyms
 commune. At the same time, a dam was built on the east side of the
lake
Use synonyms
 to hold back the water.
lagoon
Correct article usage
The lagoon
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,
Punctuation problem
apply
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and the
business
Use synonyms
 commune were surrounded by a residential area , which was expanded.
while
Linking Words
 airport was
also
Linking Words
 broadened, but in
such
Linking Words
 a place.
whereas
Linking Words
 the government building is on the south side of the layout. The bridge was
also
Linking Words
 expanded to accommodate the
lake
Use synonyms
. The number of people who are capable of
such
Linking Words
 development has
also
Linking Words
 increased 10 fold.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, such, whereas, while".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words lake, business with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "maps" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 3 times.
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