Some people say that television is useful for education, while others say it is more useful for entertainment. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Some
people
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would say that
television
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is beneficial for studying,
while
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others argue that
the
Correct article usage
its
show examples
main purpose
of
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apply
show examples
that is
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only for
entertainment
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.
Although
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television
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provides many educational and current affair
programs
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to increase knowledge,
people
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use it to watch more for
entertainment
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programs
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and consider as fun activity. On the one
side
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hand
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, many parents encourage their children to see educational
programs
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for enhancing
Correct determiner usage
their
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knowledge of various aspects. There are dedicated educational channels who only run
programs
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having full of information for their curious audience.
Therefore
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, those
people
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devote their major
television
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screen time
into
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to
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these
programs
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to gain more educational information.
Moreover
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,
Television
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can
also
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be utilised to be aware
about
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of
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current affairs.
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Tv
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TV
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viewers are
also
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interested
to watch News
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in watching news
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and debate
programs
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, which increase individuals’ intellect.
As a result
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,
instead
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of
spendning
Correct your spelling
spending
additional time
in
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apply
show examples
studying, they can increase their knowledge level by watching
televesion
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television
.
For example
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,
Discovery
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the Discovery
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channel
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Channel
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and History
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Tv
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TV
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are
the
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apply
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popular channels for educational
contents
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content
show examples
among curious school students. On the other side, most
people
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use
TV
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for
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apply
show examples
mainly for
entertainment
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such
Punctuation problem
, such
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as watching films or listening
music
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to music
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. Viewers have numerous options for movies and music channels to choose
if
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from if
show examples
they get boared on one program.
Furthermore
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,
family
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the family
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can plan to watch
famous
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a famous
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sports match or family fun shows in which all family members are interested.
Due to
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this
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habit, everyone
enjoy
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enjoys
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family time with each other and
make
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strengthens
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their
strong bonding
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bond
.
For instance
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, in India, every family member watch final ICC cricket match
togather
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together
show examples
at home. I believe that
television
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can be used for both education and
entertainment
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. It totally depends on
individuals interest
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individuals' interests
show examples
and what their
parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents
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encourage
to
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them to
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watch
for
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apply
show examples
. In conclusion, many viewers watch
television
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to learn something new ,
while
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others look for enjoyment. I believe that one can be directed to use
TV
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either to learn or
fun
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for fun
show examples
by their parents.

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task response
Answer both sides in a more equal way. Your first side is clear, but your own view is very short.
task response
Make your opinion stronger. Say clearly why TV is more for education, more for fun, or both in the same way.
task response
Add one more clear idea in each body paragraph, then explain it well.
task response
Some examples are good, but they need more detail to fully support the point.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear 4-part structure: introduction, 2 body paragraphs, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words more carefully. Some are good, like 'On the one side' and 'On the other side', but a few lines feel awkward or repeated.
coherence and cohesion
Keep sentence meaning clear. A few sentences are hard to follow because of word order and missing words.
coherence and cohesion
Try to make each paragraph focus on one main idea, then support it with one example.
task response
You discussed both views and gave your opinion.
task response
You used relevant examples like Discovery Channel, History TV, and cricket.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is easy to follow overall because the paragraph order is clear.
coherence and cohesion
You used basic linking words to move from one idea to the next.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
Topic Vocabulary:
  • educational programs
  • informative documentaries
  • interactive learning
  • entertaining content
  • reality shows
  • cartoons
  • intellectual development
  • parental guidance
  • screen time
  • creative thinking
  • educational potential
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