In many professional sports, there is an increase in the number of athletes using banned substances to improve their performance. What are the causes of the phenomenon and what are some of the possible solutions?

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Try for free →
The number of professional athletes using banned
substances
Use synonyms
to elevate their performances has increased significantly in recent years. Scientific breakthroughs in the field of medicine
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
and the growing competitiveness in all sports are major reasons for the rise. The sporting industry is one of the fastest growing fields in the world, and the changes it has undergone in the past few decades
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
clear to see.
As a result
Linking Words
of
this
Linking Words
, the competitors are stronger and sharper than ever before.
This
Linking Words
makes it much more difficult to maintain consistency at the highest level. To combat
this
Linking Words
, sportsmen and women may be tempted to use
performance enhancing
Correct your spelling
performance-enhancing
drugs to gain an edge over their competition. Technological advancements in the past few years have
also
Linking Words
made these
substances
Use synonyms
more readily available than ever before. These medications not only boost your performance on the field, but
also
Linking Words
significantly improve your recovery. The individuals found guilty of using
such
Linking Words
enhancements need to have severe punishments imposed on them.
This
Linking Words
can be implemented in many forms. Medals that have been won unfairly need to be taken away. Their participation in future competitions
also
Linking Words
needs to be reduced
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
or removed completely, depending on the severity of their
offense
Change the spelling
offence
show examples
. The availability of
such
Linking Words
drugs should
also
Linking Words
be regulated and
be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
observed more carefully. New awards can
also
Linking Words
be introduced
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
to reward those who abide by the rules
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
and to encourage others to do the same. Educating the athletes on the potential drawbacks of using
such
Linking Words
substances
Use synonyms
could
also
Linking Words
have a significant impact. In conclusion, it is evident that there are multiple reasons
as to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
why more and more athletes are using banned
substances
Use synonyms
. Stricter rules and raising awareness on the harmful effects
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
the way to stop these incidents from occurring again.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
For task response, you answer both parts of the question, but you can add one more clear cause and one more direct solution.
task response
Your ideas are clear, but some points are general. Add a short real or clear example to make your ideas stronger.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay has a clear start, body, and end. This is good.
coherence and cohesion
Some linking is good, but you can make the connection between ideas smoother with simple words like 'first', 'also', 'because', and 'as a result'.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are a bit long. Shorter sentences can make your meaning easier to follow.
task response
You clearly introduce the topic and give the main causes in the first paragraph.
task response
You give several useful solutions, such as punishment, control of drugs, and education.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is easy to follow because each paragraph has one main purpose.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear conclusion that matches the ideas in the essay.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Performance-enhancing drugs (PEDs)
  • Doping
  • Anti-doping regulations
  • Detection methods
  • Ban substances
  • Ethical issues
  • Health risks
  • Fair play
  • Sportsmanship
  • Stakes
  • Pressure to succeed
  • Enforcement
  • Awareness programs
  • Testing frequency
  • Entourage
  • Science advancement
  • Financial gains
What to do next:
Look at other essays: