Some people say govement should give health care the first priority while some others believe there are more important priorities to spend the taxpayer’s money. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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People
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have many important needs in their daily
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life
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lives
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, and some of these are provided by the government. These services are funded by taxes
payed
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paid
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by the
people
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.
so
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So
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, it is important to decide the priorities of spending based on what society
need
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needs
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most. Some
people
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think
healthcare
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is the most important,
while
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others believe there are other priorities.
This
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essay will discuss both views and give my opinion. On the one hand, many
people
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agree that
healthcare
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should be the first priority.
This
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is because if
people
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are not healthy, they cannot work or study well. Diseases can affect a person’s daily
life
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and reduce their productivity.
Also
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, serious illnesses can make
people
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suffer and lower their quality of
life
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.
For example
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, if hospitals are not
well equipped
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well-equipped
, patients may not get proper treatment.
In addition
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, governments need to control birth and death rates through
healthcare
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services.
On the other hand
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, some
people
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think other sectors are more important. Education is very important because it
help
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helps
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people
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improve their knowledge and skills. A good education system can help the country develop.
In addition
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, safety and security
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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necessary, and the Ministry of Interior play an important role in protecting
people
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.
Moreover
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, Infrastructure,
such
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as
,
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apply
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Roads and transportation are
also
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important because
people
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use them every day. In my opinion,
healthcare
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should be the top priority, but other sectors should not be ignored. Governments should try to balance spending. In conclusion, all sectors are important for the development of
human's
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human
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life
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.

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task response
Answer both sides more fully. You talk about health, education, safety, and roads, but some ideas are short.
task response
Give a clearer opinion. You say health should be first, but explain more why it should come before the other needs.
task response
Use one or two more clear examples to support your main ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, body, and end. Keep this shape in future essays.
coherence and cohesion
Link some ideas more smoothly. For example, explain how one point leads to the next point.
coherence and cohesion
Some body points need more support. Add one more sentence to explain each main idea.
task response
You discuss both views and give your opinion, so you follow the task.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is easy to follow because each paragraph has one main focus.
coherence and cohesion
You use simple link words like On the one hand, On the other hand, In addition, and In conclusion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • health care
  • priority
  • government
  • spend
  • money
  • people
  • needs
  • budget
  • tax
  • fund
  • doctor
  • hospital
  • patient
  • care
  • disease
  • cost
  • value
  • plan
  • policy
  • education
  • roads
  • jobs
  • economy
  • balance
  • efficiency
  • prevention
  • treatment
  • access
  • fair
  • equal
  • system
  • waste
  • public
  • private
  • long term
  • short term
  • future
  • initiative
  • policy
  • allocation
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