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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the number of films produced by five countries in three years

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The given chart gives data about the
amount
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number
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 of
films
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 produced by five
countries
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 over a period of three years (2007,2008 and 2009). 
Linking Words
Overall
Punctuation problem
Overall,
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country
Use synonyms
 A produced the highest number of
films
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 in all three years,
while
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countries
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 D and E produced the least.
In addition
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, film production increased in most
countries
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 over the period. Looking at the details,
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country a
Fix capitalization
Country A
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 produced about 90
films
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 in both 2007 and 2008 before decreasing slightly to about 80 in 2009. On
other
Correct article usage
the other
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 hand
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country
Punctuation problem
, country
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 B showed a steady increase
rising
Punctuation problem
, rising
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 from approximately 50
films
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 in 2007 to around 70 in 2009. In
term
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terms
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 of other
countries
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,
country
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 C increased its film production significantly, from about 10 in 2007 to around 20 in 2009.
Country
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 D
flactuated
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fluctuated
 slightly, it started around 15, and
then
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dropping
Wrong verb form
dropped
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 a little in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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2008 and
then
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rising
Wrong verb form
rose
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 again in 2009 to 20.
Linking Words
Finally
Punctuation problem
Finally,
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country
Use synonyms
 E showed a small increase in 2007 for only 10
films
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 during the period.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words films, countries, country with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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