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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?

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Many
people
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 think the working week should be shorter and
workers
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 should have a longer weekend. I agree with
this
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 idea because it brings many benefits to
workers
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 and society.
First,
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a shorter working week helps
people
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 feel less tired. Today, many
workers
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 have long working hours and feel stressed. If they have more free
time
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, they can relax and rest properly. They can
also
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 spend more
time
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 with their family and friends.
This
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 can improve their mental health and make them happier.
Second,
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workers
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 can do their jobs better. When
people
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 are well-rested, they can focus more easily and
work
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 more efficiently. They make fewer mistakes and have more energy.
As a result
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, companies may
also
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 benefit because
workers
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 can be more productive even if they
work
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 fewer days.
However
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, there are some disadvantages. Some companies may find it difficult to finish their
work
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 on
time
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.
In addition
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, some
workers
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 may earn less money if their working hours are reduced. Certain jobs,
such
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 as doctors and police officers,
also
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 require
people
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 to
work
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 every day, so it is not easy to reduce their working
time
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. In conclusion, I believe a shorter working week is a good idea because it improves
workers
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’ happiness and performance.
However
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, it should be introduced carefully to avoid problems for businesses and important services.

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task response
Add one real or clear example for each main idea.
task response
Explain a little more how short weeks help firms and workers.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with more range, not only First, Second, However.
coherence and cohesion
Make one idea in each body part a bit deeper with cause and result.
task response
You answer both sides and give a clear opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Your ideas are easy to follow from start to end.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear introduction and a clear conclusion.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • motivation
  • mental well-being
  • work-life balance
  • job satisfaction
  • pollution levels
  • traffic congestion
  • consumer spending
  • economic implications
  • leisure and service sectors
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