Some people think watching tv is bad for children, while others think that watching tv has more beneficial effects on children. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Television
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an
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is an
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important source of entertainment
as well as
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knowlegde
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knowledge
. Few
of
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apply
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people believe that watching
tv
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TV
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is not better for learners,
whereas
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others think
Correct article usage
the opposite
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opposite
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opposite,
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it is
a
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apply
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necessary for
them
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them,
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they can learn many things from it and take
advantages
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advantage
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. I personally opine that spending
time
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on
television
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has a number of benefits
Correct word choice
, as well as
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also
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some drawbacks
which
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, which
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are not neglected.
To begin
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with
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with,
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the advantages of
television
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,
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apply
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initially
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it
has
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provides
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a plethora of knowledge about the world. To explain more, all the news around the world
children
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that children
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get from it. Which is crucial for them
and
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, and
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they can understand the affairs and the situation of their nations.
Moreover
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, news
also
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helps them in their studies and they will
aware
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be aware
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how
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of how
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to handle the situations.
In addition
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to
this
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,
In tv
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on TV
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they can watch some educational games which
helps
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help
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to
increased
Wrong verb form
increase
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their intellectual
stregth
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strength
.
For instance
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, numerous educational programs
telecast
Verb problem
are telecast
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in the
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on
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television
Use synonyms
and
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, and
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these are helping them in their school academic games.
Hence
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,
It
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it
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proved that if learners invest their
few
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little
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time
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on it that will be useful rather than
bad
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a bad
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effect. On the paradoxical side, It has
also
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some
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has some
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disadvantages that are difficult to ignore.
Primarly
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Primarily
, these days students invest
their
Correct determiner usage
apply
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more
time
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on
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in
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watching
televion
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television
instead
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of physical
activites
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activities
.
Due to
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this
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, they are facing some health problems
such
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as obesity and health
illness
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illnesses
show examples
. Moving
further
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, some contents are not
approperiate
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appropriate
for them
which
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, which
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are
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is
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impacting
negative
Rephrase
negatively
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. To cite an example, a recent survey conducted by crime reports revealed that 60 % crime ideas adapted
by
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from
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the movies which released on
televison
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television
. As a
consequences
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consequence
show examples
, they manifest the things without thinking
the
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about the
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result. To put the nutshell,
everycoin
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every coin
has two sides, each has pros
and
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, and
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each has cons,
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nevertheless
Add a comma
nevertheless,
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this
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notion has both benefits and
drwabacks
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drawbacks
.
However
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,
according to
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my percpective watching
televison
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television
under their parents surveilance and limited
time
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period. So, it is not a bad thing.

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task response
Answer both sides more clearly. Say why TV is bad and why it is good, then give your view in a direct way.
coherence and cohesion
Make your main idea clear in each body part. Start each part with one simple topic sentence.
task response
Support each main point with one clear example. Some examples now are not fully clear or well explained.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas in a smoother way. Use simple words like first, also, however, for example, and in conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one idea in one sentence when possible. This will make your meaning easier to follow.
task response
Your conclusion should repeat your opinion in a short and clear way.
task response
You answered the topic and talked about both good and bad sides of TV.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear basic shape: introduction, body parts, and conclusion.
task response
You tried to use examples to support your ideas.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • sedentary behavior
  • unrealistic perceptions
  • creative pursuits
  • social development
  • emotional development
  • constructive content
  • screen time
  • parental guidance
  • critical thinking
  • active learning
  • age-appropriate
  • media literacy
  • family bonding
  • moderation
  • perceive
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