IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Pie charts below show the average household expenditures in Japan and Malaysia in the year 2010.

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The charts below demonstrate approximately how much
money
Use synonyms
 is spent on household chores in two countries
namely
Punctuation problem
, namely
show examples
Japan
Use synonyms
 and
Malaysia
Use synonyms
during
Punctuation problem
, during
show examples
 a year.
Overall
Linking Words
,
Japan
Use synonyms
 excels at transport, health care and other
goods
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
Malaysia
Use synonyms
 prevails in housing and food. In terms of each country,
Japan
Use synonyms
is specialized
Wrong verb form
specialises
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 in other
goods
Use synonyms
 and services, but
Malaysia
Use synonyms
 spends on housing. In
Japan
Use synonyms
, other
goods
Use synonyms
 and services
tops
Correct subject-verb agreement
top
show examples
 the list for expenditures with 29%, followed by food
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 amounted to 24%. Housing and transport are chosen for
spend by
Replace the word
spending
 comparatively
fewer
Correct word choice
less
show examples
money
Use synonyms
, 21% and 20%
accordingly
Linking Words
.
Japanese
Correct article usage
The Japanese
show examples
 spend the lowest amount of
money
Use synonyms
 on health care
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
 6%. In
Malaysia
Use synonyms
, housing leads the way among the other household expenses with 34%, closely followed by food with 27%. Other
goods
Use synonyms
 and services and transport
are spent
Verb problem
account for
show examples
 relatively less
money
Use synonyms
, 26% and 10%
accordingly
Linking Words
.
Malaysian
Correct subject-verb agreement
Malaysians
show examples
 spend the
fewest
Correct word choice
least
show examples
money
Use synonyms
 on health care
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
 3%.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "accordingly".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words money, japan, malaysia, goods with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • household expenditures
  • proportion
  • cultural differences
  • economic differences
  • living standards
  • real estate market
  • public transportation
  • private transportation
  • infrastructure
  • government healthcare policies
  • quality of life
  • holistic view
  • inflation
  • economic growth
  • societal norms
  • globalization
  • communication expenses
  • education expenses
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