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Writing Samples
Band 7

Many people disagree with a school policy which forces children to learn a new language. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In the modern world, it is undeniable that learning a new
language
Use synonyms
 has become increasingly important in a globalised society.
However
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, some people disagree with school policies that require children to study a foreign
language
Use synonyms
.
Although
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 some may agree with
this
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 view, I am opposed to it
due to
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 several reasons, which will be examined in
this
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 essay. One of the most apparent reasons is that learning a new
language
Use synonyms
 offers significant educational and cognitive benefits. To illustrate,
students
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 who study additional languages often develop better memory, problem-solving abilities, and communication skills.
For instance
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, bilingual individuals are generally more adaptable and capable of interacting with people from different cultural backgrounds.
In addition
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,
language
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 learning can improve future career opportunities, as many employers value multilingual abilities in an increasingly interconnected world. Another point that should not be overlooked is that forcing all
students
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 to learn a
language
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 may create pressure or reduce motivation for some learners. To clarify, children have different interests and abilities, and not all
students
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 may find
language
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 learning suitable or engaging.
For example
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,
students
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 who struggle with languages may feel discouraged, which could negatively affect their
overall
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 academic performance.
Therefore
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,
while
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language
Use synonyms
 education is important, schools should provide flexible approaches and support systems to accommodate different learning needs. To recapitulate, it is evident that learning a new
language
Use synonyms
 provides important cognitive and career advantages,
while
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 the main drawback is the potential pressure on
students
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 when it is made compulsory.
Therefore
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, I believe that
language
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 learning should be encouraged, but educational systems should allow flexibility to ensure that
students
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 remain motivated and supported.

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task response
Make your answer more clear from the start. Say if you agree, disagree, or partly agree, and keep this same line all through the essay.
task response
Your main idea is good, but your view changes a bit. You say you are opposed to the view, but later you say schools should allow more choice. Make this position more direct.
task response
Add one more strong and real example to support your ideas. This will make your points feel more full and more exact.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear shape with intro, body, and end. Keep this plan in future essays.
coherence and cohesion
Linking words are used well, but some are too formal or not natural, like 'to recapitulate'. Use simpler end words like 'In conclusion'.
coherence and cohesion
Some ideas could connect more smoothly. Make sure each body part starts with one clear main point and all next lines support it.
task response
You answer all parts of the question and talk about both good and bad sides.
task response
Your ideas are mostly clear and easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is well organised into clear paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
You use linking words like 'however', 'for instance', and 'therefore' in a helpful way.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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