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Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people say that the age of books has passed; information can be accessed via videos, computers, television, films and so forth. Other people think books and written words will still be essential for information dissemination and education. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

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The way
information
Use synonyms
 is conveyed has sparked debate.
While
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 some believe that
message
Correct article usage
the message
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 can be passed through audio-visuals, films and many more. Others argue that
book
Check wording
books
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 and written words
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 the best
channel
Fix the agreement mistake
channels
show examples
 for disseminating
information
Use synonyms
 and education.
This
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 essay will talk about two sides to
this
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 and give its own opinion.
To begin
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,
information
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 is best conveniently accessed
on
Change preposition
through
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 media documentaries.
This
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 is because
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 it is mostly accessible and mobile.
Therefore
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, anyone can have
right
Correct article usage
the right
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 to it anywhere and at any point in time without limitations or restrictions whatsoever.
For instance
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,
according to
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 recent studies by Harvard final year students, their research
had made it known
Wrong verb form
has shown
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 that in the United States of America
Add a comma
,
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more than 70% of people of different age
group
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groups
show examples
 learn better through videos, media and films.
Additionally
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,
individual
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individuals
show examples
 retain well through repetition of what they watch and consume.
On the other hand
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, not everyone can read and comprehend what is not written by them.
Due to
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language
Correct article usage
a language
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 barrier, fonts and the ideas.
This
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 is because
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 the documentaries
as
Punctuation problem
, as
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 time goes on had might have
gotten
Verb problem
been
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 scraped
from
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due to
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 mishandling, spoilage and poor storage. Where some
part
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parts
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 might have
gotten
Wrong verb form
been
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 erased
Punctuation problem
, and
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and made
Wrong verb form
making
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 the whole other
information
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 in it difficult to comprehend
by
Change preposition
for
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 the readers.
Additionally
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, the mobility of some
hand books
Correct your spelling
handbooks
 is limited.
Which
Correct pronoun usage
This
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 sometimes makes it difficult to access when needed.
For example
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, more than average universities in Nigeria, 82% of teachers and lecturers sell out textbooks and written handouts, but
also
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 refer
student
Check wording
students
show examples
 to platforms like
You Tube
Correct your spelling
YouTube
 for easy
assess
Use the right word
access
show examples
 and comprehension. In conclusion, people learn better through
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
audio-visuals.
However
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, keeping written books in a
well organized
Correct your spelling
well-organised
 manner can attract folks to want to explore. I suppose, mobility and comfort that comes from the use of computers to access
information
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 cannot be denied. As
this
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 might be the only route to access
information
Use synonyms
 in
years
Correct article usage
the years
show examples
 to come.

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task response
Answer both sides more fully. Now your view is not fully clear all through the essay.
task response
Give ideas that match the question. One body part about books is not fully about why books stay important for education.
task response
Use examples that are clear and fit the main point. Some examples now feel too general or not fully true.
coherence and cohesion
Make each paragraph stay on one main idea. Some lines change topic too fast.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas in a simple clear way. Some joining words are used, but a few parts are hard to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Support each main point with a reason and one clear example.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear introduction and a clear ending.
task response
You try to discuss both sides of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
You use some link words like 'To begin', 'On the other hand', and 'In conclusion'.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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