It is often said that Governments spend too much money on projects to protect wild life, while their are other problems that are more important? Do you agree or disagree?

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In recent years, it is commonly known that the
government
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is spending lots of money on various programs and projects to protect
wildlife
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from extinction. I strongly agree that it is a positive view of the
government
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and
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, and
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I support spending money on saving
wildlife
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.
Wildlife
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is one of the most important
part
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parts
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of
this
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world.
Additionally
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, it has been observed that the extinction of
such
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.
This
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is because in today's busy world, nobody wants to care about them.
Whereas
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the
government
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has been taking multiple actions to protect
wildlife
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.
On the other hand
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, many people like hunting as a hobby, but it is very important to think about how negatively it will impact lifes of
animals
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.
Nevertheless
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, people should think about measures that would help stop the end of
animals
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.
Additionally
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, if not done seriously, it will leave a very harsh impact on the life cycle of
animals
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and humans if
such
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happens. I totally agree that the
government
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should invest heavily to save wild
animals
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,
while
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some people may disagree.
Moreover
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, we have multiple problems other than the extinction of
wildlife
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, but I suggest that
this
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issue should be given consideration first and
request
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I request
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the
government
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to do so. In conclusion, nearly everything depends on
wildlife
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,
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;
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if they are hurt, it will adversely affect plants and trees too.
Likewise
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, it will be hard for humans to survive if we give the least attention to
wildlife
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. I believe
,
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apply
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it is everyone's responsibility to come together and support
this
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problem and not just leaving to the
government
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.

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task response
Make your main answer more clear from the start. Say directly why you agree.
task response
Add one or two clear real examples to support your ideas.
task response
Explain each main point more fully. Do not stop after one short reason.
task response
Stay close to the question. You should also talk more about the other important problems.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear topic sentences at the start of each body paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Connect ideas in a smoother way. Some lines feel broken or unfinished.
coherence and cohesion
Develop one idea before moving to the next one.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has one main idea and clear support.
task response
You give a clear opinion and keep it to the end.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has an introduction, body, and conclusion.
task response
You stay on the topic of wildlife and government money.
coherence and cohesion
You use some linking words like on the other hand, moreover, and in conclusion.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
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