Advertisements of snacks and toys have a great impact on children and their parents. So, the advertisement to children should be banned. Do you agree or disagree

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It is often argued that commercials of junk foods and toys have a significant influence on peers and their families.

While

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some people support

this

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perspective, I firmly believe that

Use synonyms

children-centered

Replace the word

child-centred

advertisements should be prohibited, owing to several consequences of

this

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issue, which will be examined in

this

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essay. The primary reason I support

this

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opinion is that

children

Use synonyms

are dependent individuals who are not able to take responsibility for their behaviours.

Hence

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, they are strictly attached to their

parents

Use synonyms

to sustain their needs. So, it is a false approach to create broadcasts interlinked with

children

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who do not have the authority and maturity.

For example

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, advertisements

Change preposition

for

show examples

sugary snacks can lead to poor eating habits and increase the possibility of childhood obesity.

Therefore

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, limiting

such

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marketing would help

protecting

Wrong verb form

protect

show examples

children

Use synonyms

from harmful influences.

Furthermore

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this

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kind of

commercials

Fix the agreement mistake

commercial

show examples

can place unnecessary financial pressure on

parents

Use synonyms

. Many families are constantly exposed to

marketings

Replace the word

marketing

about overpriced branded toys, fancy-look child clothes and harmful processed foods.

This

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may lead to emotional and financial damage

Change preposition

show examples

parents

Use synonyms

because of the feeling of trying to be enough.

According to

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a 2022 study, most families are trying to afford things that they saw in commercials for their

children

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and

Punctuation problem

, and

show examples

it creates a huge financial effort

Change preposition

for

show examples

them.

To conclude

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, there are many negative drawbacks of advertisements based on

children

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which

Punctuation problem

, which

show examples

affects

Correct subject-verb agreement

affect

show examples

both young ones and

parents

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because

children

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are easily influenced and

parents

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may face unnecessary pressure. Protecting young audiences should be a priority over commercial interests.

duruozmeral1

Apr 21, 2026

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coherence cohesion

Make your main idea more direct in each body part.

coherence cohesion

Use link words in a more natural way. Some words like 'So' and 'Hence' feel too simple or not fully smooth here.

task achievement

Add one more clear example with real detail to make your points stronger.

task achievement

Explain your ideas a bit more deeply, especially how ads affect children and parents step by step.

task achievement

Stay very close to the question words. Write about why ads should be banned, not only why they have bad effects.

task achievement

You give a clear opinion from the start and keep it to the end.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear shape: introduction, two body parts, and conclusion.

coherence cohesion

Most main points are easy to follow.

task achievement

You use examples to support your ideas.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

252 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

influence
preferences
materialism
financial strain
mental well-being
body image concerns
unrealistic expectations
ethical concerns
exploiting
impressionability
health awareness
educational content

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Advertisements of snacks and toys have a great impact on children and their parents. So, the advertisement to children should be banned. Do you agree or disagree

Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What other measures do you think might be effective?

What are the advantages and disadvantages of online shopping? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In some countries, younger people are neglecting their right to vote. What problems does this cause and what are some of the possible solutions

As the number of cars increases, more money has to be spent on road systems. Some people think the government should pay for this. Others, however, think that drivers should cover the costs. Discuss both views and give your opinion.