Some people believe that advertisements are amusing or annoying and they are not influenced by this when they sthop. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In modern society, we can see many
advertisements
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everywhere,
such
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as in shops and on the internet. Some
people
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think that
advertisements
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are annoying, so they ignore them and are not influenced when they shop. I strongly agree with
this
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opinion because too many
advertisements
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have a negative effect on our lives.
To begin
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with, seeing too many
advertisements
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in one place can make
people
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feel confused.
For example
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, when
people
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shop in a store, there are so many different
advertisements
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that it is difficult to find what they really want to buy. Because of
this
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,
people
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often stop looking at the
advertisements
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and just focus on their shopping list.
As a result
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,
advertisements
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do not really influence their choices.
Furthermore
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, some
advertisements
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have uncomfortable or harmful information.
For instance
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, when
people
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use social media, they often see
advertisements
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that are not related to their interests or even contain violent scenes.
This
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can be a bad influence, especially on the younger generation.
Therefore
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,
instead
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of helping
people
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shop, these bad
advertisements
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make
people
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have a negative feeling about the brands. In conclusion, I firmly believe that having too many
advertisements
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is bad for
people
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. It not only causes stress but
also
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makes the quality of life lower
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lowers the quality of life
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by giving wrong information.
Therefore
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, the government should make stricter rules to protect
people
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from seeing too many
advertisements
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.

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task response
For task response, your answer is clear, but you should explain more why people are not influenced when they shop.
task response
For task response, your main idea is good, but some points are too general. Add one more clear example.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay has a clear start, middle, and end, which is good.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, some ideas move too fast. Add a little more link between the example and the main point.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, each body paragraph has one main idea, but support is still a bit short.
task response
You answer the question and give a clear opinion from the start.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are both present and easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
You use simple link words like 'To begin with', 'Furthermore', and 'Therefore' well.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • advertisement / advert
  • influence
  • brand
  • consumer
  • buying decision
  • catch attention
  • remember
  • repeat
  • popular
  • famous person
  • low price
  • special offer
  • online ad
  • social media
  • shop wisely
  • compare price
  • need vs want
  • make a choice
  • annoying
  • amusing
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