Write an essay on the topic below. Some people prefer to shop in traditional stores. Other people prefer to do their shopping online. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
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There is an ongoing debate about whether it is more convenient to make purchases in offline
stores
or if it is better to do shopping online. Some people prefer buying goods in traditional Use synonyms
stores
, because customers can notice and touch every detail, which helps them to estimate the quality. Other people choose online shopping Use synonyms
not
to spend Correct word choice
so as not
time
Use synonyms
for
commuting and standing in queues. In my opinion, both perspectives have merit, but I would stick to buying things offline.
One of the main reasons to make purchases in traditional Change preposition
apply
stores
is to have a possibility to learn all the details and touch goods with your own hands. In Use synonyms
this
way a customer can evaluate size, weight, quality and other essential details which is sometimes difficult to estimate adequately in a picture or reading a description. Linking Words
For instance
, buying shoes can be challenging, because different manufacturers have their own size chart and feet of every person are not the same. Linking Words
For
Linking Words
this
reason, I am convinced that it is important to learn things before buying them.
Linking Words
On the other hand
, making purchases at any Linking Words
time
in online Use synonyms
stores
and lying on a sofa simultaneously is extremely comfortable. A customer can look at an assortment and compare prices in different online shops. A client Use synonyms
economizes
Change the spelling
economises
time
for commuting and has a wider variety of shops if they live in Use synonyms
a
countryside. Correct article usage
the
For example
, buying goods online for a rural resident can help to avoid standing in queues and wasting Linking Words
time
Use synonyms
for
getting to a city with a wide range of markets. Change preposition
apply
However
, despite having significant advantages of the described method, I am still lean on practicing offline shopping.
In conclusion, I believe that both ways of doing shopping have their Linking Words
prons
and cons. In the first Correct your spelling
pros
case
a client can ensure whether the particular good is suitable for them or not. In the second case a customer economizes Add a comma
case,
time
.Use synonyms
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task response
Task response: Answer both sides in a more equal way. Your view is clear, but the part about online shopping could be a little fuller.
task response
Task response: Add one more clear reason for your opinion, so your main view feels stronger.
task response
Task response: Be careful with word choice and form. Some parts are not natural, and this can make your ideas less clear.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Your essay has a clear 4-part shape, which is good. To make it better, link ideas inside each body paragraph more smoothly.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Some sentences are too long or heavy. Use shorter sentences sometimes to make the line of thought easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Use simple linking words well, like first, also, for example, however, and in conclusion.
task response
Task response: You discussed both shopping in stores and shopping online, and you gave your own opinion clearly.
task response
Task response: You used examples, such as shoes and people in the countryside. This helps support your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Your essay has an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This is a clear structure.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Each body paragraph mostly stays on one main idea, so the reader can follow your points.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite