Most schools are planning to replace sports and exercise with more academic sessions. How will this change affect children's lives in your opinion?

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Try for free →

In the modern world, it is undeniable that many schools have a plan to remove

sports

Use synonyms

and

exercise

Use synonyms

from education.

However

Linking Words

, some academies are considering that physical activities should be supported in institutions. In

this

Linking Words

essay, an attempt will be made to examine how

this

Linking Words

change affects the lives of

children

Use synonyms

. One of the most apparent effects is that if schools

removes

Correct subject-verb agreement

remove

show examples

physical activities, it will have negative impacts on

children

Use synonyms

’s health. To illustrate, exercising or playing

sports

Use synonyms

such

Linking Words

as playing football, chairball, badminton, and volleyball, can provide several benefits. When they play

sports

Use synonyms

, it can help the body get rid of toxins because exercising

help

Correct subject-verb agreement

helps

show examples

to strengthen their health, including improving their bones and muscles.

For example

Linking Words

according to

Change preposition

apply

show examples

research conducted by doctors in the USA

, it

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

reveals that

children

Use synonyms

who do not

exercise

Use synonyms

often suffer from more diseases when compared with those who

exercise

Use synonyms

regularly. Another point that should not be ignored is that removing

sports

Use synonyms

and

exercise

Use synonyms

can demolish

children

Use synonyms

’s social skills. To elaborate, making new

friends

Use synonyms

or connections is derived from social skills. When they play athletics, they can encounter a lot of people because there are some

friends

Use synonyms

from other grades who play with

teenagers

Use synonyms

or young

children

Use synonyms

For example

Linking Words

teenagers

Use synonyms

who study in grade 12 are playing with young

children

Use synonyms

who study in grade 9 can create relationships together.

In addition

Linking Words

, people who are

teenagers

Use synonyms

or young are not important, but playing

sports

Use synonyms

can offer a lot of new

friends

Use synonyms

from different grades. To recapitulate, it is evident that physical activities have beneficial impacts on youngsters and

teenagers

Use synonyms

. Meanwhile, social skills are extremely significant for those who make connections or new

friends

Use synonyms

Therefore

Linking Words

, I believe that

sports

Use synonyms

and

exercise

Use synonyms

should be supported in the modern world since

Fix the agreement mistake

they

show examples

will supplement various aspects for their students.

warawutwangphrom

Apr 22, 2026

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

Answer the question more directly. Say clearly how more study time and less sport will change children’s lives.

task response

Develop each main idea more. Explain why health and social life will change, and add one clear result for each point.

task response

Use examples that are simple and easy to believe. Some examples now are too general or not fully clear.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a clear start, body, and end. Keep this shape.

coherence and cohesion

Make links between ideas smoother. Some sentences repeat the same idea in different words.

coherence and cohesion

Use clear topic sentences and then support them with 2 or 3 related lines. This will make each paragraph stronger.

task response

You answer the topic and give your opinion.

task response

You include two main effects: health and social skills.

coherence and cohesion

You have an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

coherence and cohesion

Basic linking words are used, such as however, for example, and therefore.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

301 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
Some people believe that schools should reward those students who show excellent academic performance while some believe that only the ones who show significant improvement in the grades should be rewarded. Discuss both the views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
There are many people who think that rewards should be given to those pupils who perform excellently in their exams, although others believe that they should be given to those students who show dramatic improvement in their grades. In my opinion, to get constant performance from a student, a prize should be given to those students who always outlay excellent overall results.
7
band
In schools and universities, girls tend to choose arts, while boys like science. what are the reasons for this trend and do you think this tendency should be changed?
It is widely believed that in schools and universities, girls tend to choose arts, while boys like science. Personally, I can neither agree nor disagree with this statement for a variety of reasons.
6.5
band
Some people think that children should be taught how to cook and grow food at school. Do you agree or disagree?
No one can deny that education serves a great purpose in life.However, cooking and gardening also provide a great intention for kids. In this essay, I totally agree that school should educate children on how to cook and plant because it is important in educational benefits, life skills , and social and emotional development.
7.5
band
In many countries, the number of animals and plants is declining. Why do you think it is happening? How to solve this issue?
Recently, in many countries, the number of animals and plants has declined significantly. This essay will look at the main causes of the problem and propose some solutions.
7.5
band
You have rented a house by a lake for the summer. Write a letter to a friend. In your letter •describe the house •describe how you are spending your time there •invite your friend to come and visit Begin your letter as follows: Dear………..
I am writing this letter to inform you regarding a new house I recently rented in Bali. The house is situated by the lake and has four bathrooms and two bedrooms , it is also accompanied by a large balcony facing the lake which looks more beautiful during the sunset.

Most schools are planning to replace sports and exercise with more academic sessions. How will this change affect children's lives in your opinion?

In schools and universities, girls tend to choose arts, while boys like science. what are the reasons for this trend and do you think this tendency should be changed?

Some people think that children should be taught how to cook and grow food at school. Do you agree or disagree?

In many countries, the number of animals and plants is declining. Why do you think it is happening? How to solve this issue?

You have rented a house by a lake for the summer. Write a letter to a friend. In your letter •describe the house •describe how you are spending your time there •invite your friend to come and visit Begin your letter as follows: Dear………..