IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

It has been said that reading for pleasure is better in developing imagination and language skills than watching TV. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Reading may significantly enhance brain function. It is generally thought that reading for pleasure is more beneficial in enhancing vision and verbal
skills
Use synonyms
 than spending time on television. I believe that reading proficiency is not only about creative ideas, but
also
Linking Words
 about communication
skills
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. It is widely believed that either sophisticated developed reading
skills
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 or vision in our daily life can be the best way to be more creative, and it extends ideas innovatively in imagination. Owing to the fact that reading directly
lives
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 on the same storey, if the hero achieves a successful life, the reader will probably sense the same emotion.
For example
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, a team for the BBC made a study in which
people
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 who achieved accomplishment that they read novels related to successful
lives
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;
however
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, other
people
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 who read stories of failure were affected in their
lives
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.
As a result
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, we must choose the best books so that reading plays a crucial role in our
lives
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.
In addition
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, reading has provided information
that is
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 helping to enhance communication
skills
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. Developed information assists
people
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 in sharing ideas that are easy for them to speak about with
people
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.
It is clear that
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 when
people
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 can connect with others with confidence, they may secure employment.
For instance
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, a lot of researchers who mentioned leaders and important
people
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 of the government, who are readers and help to become social
people
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, consider it one of the most significant signs of success. In conclusion,
although
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 reading is extremely important for imagination, a great number of
people
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who
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 achieved success because of living like the story;
also
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, it assists
people
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 in reaching leadership positions owing to communication.

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task response
Answer the question more directly. Say clearly how much you agree, and keep this view all through the essay.
task response
Explain your main ideas more clearly. Some ideas are hard to understand, so the reader cannot always follow your point.
task response
Use examples that are clear and natural. Your BBC study example is not easy to trust because it is not explained well.
coherence and cohesion
Make each body paragraph have one main idea. Then explain it step by step.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas in a simple and clear way. Some sentences do not connect well, so the meaning becomes weak.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence order. A few parts feel mixed, and this hurts the flow of the essay.
task response
You give a clear opinion in the introduction.
task response
You try to discuss both imagination and language skills, which matches the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use linking words like 'In addition' and 'In conclusion'.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • imagination
  • language skills
  • active engagement
  • creativity
  • vocabulary
  • language usage
  • passive
  • simplified
  • dialogue
  • depth
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