IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Topic from The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Try for free →
The first line chart compares the amount of electricity for three different
usage
Replace the word
uses
 of home appliances
during
Change preposition
over
show examples
 100 years
of
Change preposition
, from
show examples
 1920-2019,
while
Linking Words
 the
lenght
Correct your spelling
length
 of utilisation represent on the second graph. Generally speaking, the percentage of electricity usage has increased drastically
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 those items
in
Change preposition
over the past
show examples
 10
decades
Check wording
years
show examples
, meanwhile the
using
Replace the word
usage
 times decrease gradually,
after which
Correct word choice
and then
show examples
 show a stagnant pattern in the
last
Linking Words
periods
Check wording
period
show examples
.
According to
Linking Words
 the
households
Check wording
household
show examples
 data,
refrigerator
Correct article usage
the refrigerator
show examples
 started
the
Change preposition
at the
show examples
 lowest level, at nearly 2%, before
then
Linking Words
 rose
drammatically
Correct your spelling
dramatically
 to fully used in 1980 and
managed
Verb problem
maintained
show examples
 that level until the
last
Linking Words
 years. Starting a third at the earlier period, vacuum cleaner tripled its original figure in the 80's, after which reaching a same level as the peak of refrigerator. In comparison,
washing
Correct article usage
the washing
show examples
 machine had the highest starting point, before
then
Linking Words
 rising to merely 80% by 2019 as the lowest used.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the utilisation hours stood at 50 per week
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the early 20's.
However
Linking Words
, its number went down significantly
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
 merely 10 hours
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a week in the
20
Replace the word
20th
 century and remained relatively unchanged.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: