Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Try for free →

this

Linking Words

modern world,

while

Linking Words

many people argue that

money

Use synonyms

can significantly create

happiness

Use synonyms

, it is not the only factor that determines one's well-being. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I will first discuss how

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

great fortune influences our

lives

Use synonyms

then

Linking Words

suggest other elements that may be able to delight individuals. One major reason why great wealth can offer people an enjoyable feeling is

because

Correct word choice

that

show examples

money

Use synonyms

can satisfy almost everything we pursue,

such

Linking Words

as luxury items, a high-end vacation or a house asset;

nevertheless

Linking Words

money

Use synonyms

not only creates

happiness

Use synonyms

, but

also

Linking Words

deals with many inevitable expenditures,

such

Linking Words

as electricity bills, water bills or getting fuel.

As a result

Linking Words

money

Use synonyms

plays a vital role in our whole

lives

Use synonyms

, as the amount of

money

Use synonyms

can profoundly impact how well we live.

However

Linking Words

, other things are

also

Linking Words

important. There is no doubt that we can not live without

money

Use synonyms

;

however

Linking Words

happiness

Use synonyms

can comprises many kinds of elements in our

lives

Use synonyms

;

for example

Linking Words

, health is more important than

money

Use synonyms

, and it can

also

Linking Words

bring a joyfulness; to be more specific, having a healthy body enables us to enjoy many things,

such

Linking Words

as exercising, travelling, even hard working, because we can earn more

money

Use synonyms

by working hard. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

it is often argued that only

money

Use synonyms

can represent

happiness

Use synonyms

, I still strongly believe that there are many other things that can build it as well. As long as we can identify what elements we really need in our

lives

Use synonyms

, that must be the best "

money

Use synonyms

" to build the pathway to

happiness

Use synonyms

chrislin923

Apr 25, 2026

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

Answer both parts more fully. You talk about money and health, but the second part needs more other things like family, friends, love, and free time.

task response

Use clearer main ideas in each body paragraph. Start with one clear point, then explain it, then give one simple example.

task response

Give more specific examples. For example, say how money can help pay for safe homes or good care, and how family support can make people feel calm and loved.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a clear start, middle, and end, which is good. Keep this shape.

coherence and cohesion

Some long sentences are hard to follow. Make them shorter and use simple links like 'First', 'Also', 'For example', and 'In conclusion'.

coherence and cohesion

Some ideas do not link well. For example, in the health paragraph, the move from health to earning more money is not very smooth. Keep one main focus in one paragraph.

task response

You answer both parts of the question, so the reader can see your main view.

coherence and cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are both present and clear.

coherence and cohesion

You use paragraphing, which helps the reader follow your ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

255 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

Financial security
Basic needs
Comfort
Luxury
Freedom
Altruistic
Philanthropy
Nurturing relationships
Fulfillment
Sense of accomplishment
Physical well-being
Spiritual beliefs
Community involvement
Gratitude
Mindfulness
Simple pleasures

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree and disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children?
Learning the distinction between right and wrong is undeniably crucial for children from youth. However, in my opinion, I totally disagree with the idea that a penalty is an indispensable tool to help them learn it. Instead of punishment, parents and teachers should educate through empathy, reinforce positive behaviour, and allow children to see the consequences of their actions, enabling them to draw more valuable lessons in the future. With such a perspective, discipline is more suitable than punishment. Regulation measures can be more beneficial like giving children brief time to reflect and calm down or temporarily revoking personal privileges when they misbehave, any form of discipline should be applied fairly and consistently.
7
band
Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programs (for example, working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Today it is a popular belief that students attending high school should volunteer in the community as part of their schooling. I strongly agree with this notion. Volunteer work can provide young people with the experiences they need for paying jobs, and it can also help them see themselves as valuable contributors to society.
6
band
Some people think that art is an essential subject for children at school while others think that it’s a waste of time. Discuss both sides of question!
Whether children should learn art in school or not is a topic that is often debated. From the writer's perspective, it is beneficial for students to study art as it improves creativity as well as patience, despite those who think that it takes away valuable time.
6
band
Summarize the changes in the layout of the Woodward university
The maps describe the changes that have taken place at Woodwards University campus over 37 years, starting from 1985.
8
band
The idea of having a single career is becoming an old fashioned one. The new fashion mil be to have several careers or ways of earning money and further education will be something that continues throughout life.
When it comes to career goals and education, there have been some major changes over the past few decades. Before, it was considered a great success to become proficient in a certain skill and continue working the same job through one’s whole life. The financial support provided by engaging in a certain career was enough to live a comfortable life and the required time to do so wouldn’t allow second guessing. Each lifetime was equal to one dream.

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programs (for example, working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that art is an essential subject for children at school while others think that it’s a waste of time. Discuss both sides of question!

Summarize the changes in the layout of the Woodward university

The idea of having a single career is becoming an old fashioned one. The new fashion mil be to have several careers or ways of earning money and further education will be something that continues throughout life.