IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1.5

The graph shwos the online sales of Smartphones, Laptops and Tablets in the first Quarter of 2019

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The bar chart illustrates the online sales of
Use synonyms
Smartphones,
Correct word order
smartphones, laptops,
show examples
Laptops
Use synonyms
 and
Tablets
Use synonyms
 in the first Quarter of 2019
Overall
Linking Words
,
Laptops
Use synonyms
 had higher
in
Check wording
sales in
show examples
 January and April.
While
Linking Words
Tablets
Use synonyms
 were higher in February, and
Smrtphones
Correct your spelling
smartphones
 were higher in March and April.
in
Fix capitalization
In
show examples
 January
Laptops
Use synonyms
 were 50 millon
also
Linking Words
Tablets
Use synonyms
 had 30
million
Use synonyms
Correct word choice
, and
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also
Linking Words
 in the
last
Linking Words
Smartphones
Use synonyms
 had between 10 and 20
millon
Correct your spelling
million
. In February
Tablets
Use synonyms
 had
sharp
Correct article usage
a sharp
show examples
rose
Replace the word
rise
 to 60
million
Use synonyms
Linking Words
moreover
Punctuation problem
; moreover
show examples
Laptops
Use synonyms
 fell to 30
million
Use synonyms
Linking Words
moreover
Punctuation problem
; moreover
show examples
Smartphones
Use synonyms
 were 30
million
Use synonyms
.
Furthemore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore,
 in March
Smartphones
Use synonyms
 had
noticeable
Correct article usage
a noticeable
show examples
increasd
Correct your spelling
increase
 to 70
Use synonyms
million
Punctuation problem
million,
show examples
also
Linking Words
Tablets
Use synonyms
 were the saem
also
Linking Words
Laptops
Use synonyms
 had
decreasd
Correct your spelling
decreased
 to 20
millon
Correct your spelling
million
.
In
Linking Words
addition
Punctuation problem
addition,
show examples
 in April
Laptops
Use synonyms
 were greater than other charts
it
Punctuation problem
, it
show examples
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 50
million
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
Tablets
Use synonyms
 had 20
million
Use synonyms
Punctuation problem
. Also, smartphones
show examples
also
Linking Words
Smartphones
Use synonyms
 were 50
milliones
Correct your spelling
million

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task response
Write a clear overview. Say the main trends in one short part.
task response
Check the data carefully. Your overview has one mistake about April.
task response
Use full comparisons, not only numbers. Say which item was highest and lowest each month.
coherence and cohesion
Put each month in a clear order. This helps the reader follow your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Use easy link words well, like 'while', 'in contrast', and 'overall'. Do not use 'also' too many times.
coherence and cohesion
Make each sentence complete. Some parts are hard to follow now.
task response
You included an introduction and an overview.
task response
You used numbers from all four months.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a basic order from January to April.
coherence and cohesion
You tried to compare the three products across the months.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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