The graph shwos the online sales of Smartphones, Laptops and Tablets in the first Quarter of 2019

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →

Introduction

The bar chart illustrates the online sales of

Use synonyms

Smartphones,

Correct word order

smartphones, laptops,

show examples

Laptops

Use synonyms

and

Tablets

Use synonyms

in the first Quarter of 2019

Body paragraph 1

Overall

Linking Words

Laptops

Use synonyms

had higher

Check wording

sales in

show examples

January and April.

While

Linking Words

Tablets

Use synonyms

were higher in February, and

Smrtphones

Correct your spelling

smartphones

were higher in March and April.

Conclusion

Fix capitalization

show examples

January

Laptops

Use synonyms

were 50 millon

also

Linking Words

Tablets

Use synonyms

had 30

million

Use synonyms

Correct word choice

, and

show examples

also

Linking Words

in the

last

Linking Words

Smartphones

Use synonyms

had between 10 and 20

millon

Correct your spelling

million

. In February

Tablets

Use synonyms

had

sharp

Correct article usage

a sharp

show examples

rose

Replace the word

rise

to 60

million

Use synonyms

Linking Words

moreover

Punctuation problem

; moreover

show examples

Laptops

Use synonyms

fell to 30

million

Use synonyms

Linking Words

moreover

Punctuation problem

; moreover

show examples

Smartphones

Use synonyms

were 30

million

Use synonyms

Furthemore

Correct your spelling

Furthermore,

in March

Smartphones

Use synonyms

had

noticeable

Correct article usage

a noticeable

show examples

increasd

Correct your spelling

increase

to 70

Use synonyms

million

Punctuation problem

million,

show examples

also

Linking Words

Tablets

Use synonyms

were the saem

also

Linking Words

Laptops

Use synonyms

had

decreasd

Correct your spelling

decreased

to 20

millon

Correct your spelling

million

Linking Words

addition

Punctuation problem

addition,

show examples

in April

Laptops

Use synonyms

were greater than other charts

Punctuation problem

, it

show examples

were

Correct subject-verb agreement

was

show examples

million

Use synonyms

and

Punctuation problem

, and

show examples

Tablets

Use synonyms

had 20

million

Use synonyms

Punctuation problem

. Also, smartphones

show examples

also

Linking Words

Smartphones

Use synonyms

were 50

milliones

Correct your spelling

million

mb3430902

Apr 25, 2026

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

Write a clear overview. Say the main trends in one short part.

task response

Check the data carefully. Your overview has one mistake about April.

task response

Use full comparisons, not only numbers. Say which item was highest and lowest each month.

coherence and cohesion

Put each month in a clear order. This helps the reader follow your ideas.

coherence and cohesion

Use easy link words well, like 'while', 'in contrast', and 'overall'. Do not use 'also' too many times.

coherence and cohesion

Make each sentence complete. Some parts are hard to follow now.

task response

You included an introduction and an overview.

task response

You used numbers from all four months.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a basic order from January to April.

coherence and cohesion

You tried to compare the three products across the months.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

128 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
Describe a person you love/like/admire You should say: What relation this person is to you? What are your first memories of this person? How often do you see this person? And explain why you really admire this person.
I am the kind of person who does not admire people a lot but yet, If I have to talk about one, Today I would like to speak about a person whom I admire the most and he is my husband. His name is Jatinder Singh. He plays a great role in my life. He works as a Long-Haul truck driver in Canada. We met in the year 2020 and got married in the year 2023. I am lucky to have him as my husband because he is the one who guides me in each and every step of my life.
6
band
Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.
It is often thought that being competitive is a beneficial stance in our everyday life, including at school or work, while others are convinced that working together as a community is better than fighting against each other. Although the latter opinion can be beneficial in some cases, I believe that competition brings substantial advantages to individuals.
6
band
Some people think that it is good for spending money on finding life on other planets, while others believe it is a waste and governments should focus on problems on the earth. Discuss both views and give your opinions.
Numerous individuals think that it is wiser to put aside more budget to research the possibility of living on another planet. On the other hand, some believe that the main solution to this problem is to focus on the development of the earth while finding the solutions to the problems. In my opinion, governments should delve more into the problems on the earth and find ways to enhance the quality of life on this planet.
6
band
more and more people are relying on the private car as their major means of transportation. describe some of the problems overreliance on cars can cause, and suggest at least one possible solution
Cars as the Main Transportation in Big Cities
6.5
band
Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your experiences.
In the contemporary globalized world, the debate over the optimal age for children to commence learning a foreign language has become a subject of considerable discussion. While some argue that primary school is the most suitable stage, others contend that waiting until secondary school offers distinct advantages. In my opinion, the benefits of starting early outweigh the drawbacks.

The graph shwos the online sales of Smartphones, Laptops and Tablets in the first Quarter of 2019

Describe a person you love/like/admire You should say: What relation this person is to you? What are your first memories of this person? How often do you see this person? And explain why you really admire this person.

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.

Some people think that it is good for spending money on finding life on other planets, while others believe it is a waste and governments should focus on problems on the earth. Discuss both views and give your opinions.

more and more people are relying on the private car as their major means of transportation. describe some of the problems overreliance on cars can cause, and suggest at least one possible solution

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your experiences.