IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that children should learn to design and make things in school. Others believe that there are better things to learn. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Try for free →
People have different thoughts about teaching creative skills, enabling children to
design
Use synonyms
 and produce
items
Use synonyms
, in schools
as
Punctuation problem
, as
show examples
 some are in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
favour of
this
Linking Words
 whilist others insist on utilising
this
Linking Words
 time for other core subjects. In my opinion, designing and creating
items
Use synonyms
 should be part of the school curricular activities
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 in a balanced way. Many people support the idea of
students
Use synonyms
 learning to create and
design
Use synonyms
items
Use synonyms
 in school
due to
Linking Words
 the
importance
Replace the word
important
 skills
this
Linking Words
 teaches
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them. When these
students
Use synonyms
 produce something by themselves, they need to use creativity to
design
Use synonyms
, plan the time and
material
Check wording
materials
show examples
 needed, and solve problems independently.
This
Linking Words
 exposure from an early age makes them confident
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 and ready for their later life. As per others, schools should only focus on improving
academic
Correct article usage
the academic
show examples
 ability of the learners. They say that subjects
such
Linking Words
 as Science, Mathematics, and languages require more attention to understand and bring more career
opportunity
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
show examples
. So
instead
Linking Words
 of wasting time on how to
design
Use synonyms
 and create
items
Use synonyms
, schools can arrange extra sessions, so that they can learn better for exams. In my opinion, a balanced approach can offer the best outcome for
students
Use synonyms
, especially for difficult subjects and topics. Teachers can start the class with theory
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 to make sure
students
Use synonyms
 learn
that
Fix the agreement mistake
those
show examples
 lessons effectively, they can be asked to make models or projects to reinforce learning.
This
Linking Words
 combination cannot only make children
preapre
Correct your spelling
prepare
 for exams but
also
Linking Words
 for their future by teaching important skills.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Answer both sides more fully. Say a bit more about why each side thinks this way.
task response
Add one clear example for one main idea. This will make your points stronger.
task response
Make your opinion very clear in the body too, not only in the intro and end.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with care. Some parts can flow better from one idea to the next.
coherence and cohesion
Check word form and spelling, because small errors can make the line of ideas less clear.
coherence and cohesion
Develop each main point with one more sentence, so the reader can follow your ideas more easily.
task response
You answered both views and gave your own opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear intro, two body parts, and an ending.
coherence and cohesion
Most ideas are easy to follow.
task response
Your main view is balanced and clear.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: