IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays, a growing numbers of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

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People
Use synonyms
 nowadays eat drugs without
prescription
Correct article usage
a prescription
show examples
, and
that is
Linking Words
 a harmful method to restore
your
Fix the agreement mistake
their
show examples
 health, because
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 some of them
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 not useful for some
people
Use synonyms
,
due to
Linking Words
 some factors
are
Correct pronoun usage
that are
show examples
 related. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss
this
Linking Words
 topic in detail, and
then
Linking Words
 I will explain the pros and cons. First and foremost, doctors are the ones who studied and have an enormous
knowledge
Check wording
amount of knowledge
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 they know every detail about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
medicine. Individuals should follow their
doctor commander
Check wording
doctor's command
show examples
. Some
people
Use synonyms
dont
Correct your spelling
don't
 believe in
doctor
Check wording
doctors'
show examples
 information,
then
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 they are trying to visit other
people
Use synonyms
, who usually don't have
many
Correct determiner usage
much
show examples
 information, but trying methods on
people
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
 I think
some times
Correct your spelling
sometimes
 it's a dangerous situation.
Secondly
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 are physician but they didn't get to
universities
Check wording
university
show examples
,
those
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 have a sort of understanding, they treat
people
Use synonyms
 by natural means. All of us
knowing
Wrong verb form
know
show examples
 the importance of
the fiber
Change the spelling
fibre
show examples
 and other nutrients. It sometimes helps
people
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
however
Linking Words
, it could harm them if the prescribe get wrong.  From my perspective, I think medicines
sometime
Use the right word
sometimes
show examples
 don't do the job
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 it requires patience and relieve,
on the other hand
Linking Words
, many individuals
have
Verb problem
are
show examples
 covered by natural remedies,
the
Correct word choice
and the
show examples
 alternatives could have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
positive aspects. With advanced detection, and asking doctors about it, it could be
save
Wrong verb form
saved
show examples
. In conclusion, eating pills without
doctors
Check wording
a doctor's
show examples
 prescription is dangerous all the time, but trying other natural drugs could have a good impact on
people
Use synonyms
's
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. It depends on the food and the way it
used
Verb problem
is used
show examples
. I
reccommend
Correct your spelling
recommend
 the nation to be careful, and detect everything they want to eat or drink.

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task response
Task response: Answer the question more directly. Say clearly if this is mostly positive or mostly negative, and keep this view all through the essay.
task response
Task response: Your ideas are related to the topic, but some parts change the focus to pills without a prescription. The topic is about alternative medicine and treatment, so stay closer to that idea.
task response
Task response: Add one or two clear examples. For example, you can talk about a person who uses herbs for a small problem but still needs a doctor for a serious illness.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Your essay has a clear start, body, and end, which is good. But some sentences are hard to follow. Try to make one main idea in each paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Use linking words in a simple and correct way, such as first, also, however, and in conclusion. Be careful not to overuse them.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Support each main point with a short reason or example. This will make your ideas easier to understand.
task response
Task response: You give your opinion and you try to discuss both good and bad sides of the topic.
task response
Task response: The essay stays mostly on the subject of health, medicine, and treatment.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: You use paragraphs, and this helps the reader follow your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: You have both an introduction and a conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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