Some people believe that mobile phones must be banned in public places such as libraries, shops or public transport. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In recent years, the rapid development of technology and the widespread use of
smartphones
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have led to an ongoing debate about whether these devices should be banned in public places
such
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as libraries, shops, and public transport.
While
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some people argue that
smartphones
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cause unnecessary disturbance, I strongly disagree with
this
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view, as they play an important role in both social interaction and economic activity. First of all, using
smartphones
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in shared spaces—especially for loud phone calls—can be disruptive and annoying to others.
This
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is particularly noticeable in quiet environments like libraries or on public transport.
However
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,
smartphones
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also
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serve a far more important purpose
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;
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they allow people to stay connected, especially in urgent situations.
For instance
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, if someone is involved in an accident or needs immediate assistance, being able to contact others quickly can prevent more serious consequences.
Therefore
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, imposing strict bans on smartphone use in all public places would be impractical.
In addition
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,
smartphones
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are essential tools for modern business. Many professionals are constantly on the move and do not have the time to attend face-to-face meetings. With the help of video conferencing platforms
such
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as Zoom or Google Meet, they can manage their work more efficiently from anywhere.
Moreover
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, investors often rely on
smartphones
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to make quick financial decisions,
such
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as buying or selling shares, where timing is crucial. Without immediate access to these tools, they could miss valuable opportunities. In conclusion,
although
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inappropriate smartphone use can sometimes disturb others, banning these devices in public places is neither necessary nor beneficial. When used responsibly,
smartphones
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not only help people stay connected but
also
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play a key role in supporting business activities.

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task response
Say your view even more clearly in the second body part and keep the same focus all through the essay.
task response
Add one more direct example about shops or public transport to make your ideas more full.
task response
Your ideas are clear, but one point about social use is a bit short. Explain it a little more.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, middle, and end. Keep this strong shape.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with care. You do this well, but do not use too many in one paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each main idea has enough support. The first body part could use one more line of support.
task response
You answer the question fully and give a clear opinion from the start.
task response
Your examples about safety, online meetings, and shares fit the topic well.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is easy to follow because each paragraph has one main job.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both clear and useful.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Distraction
  • Etiquette
  • Tranquility
  • Prohibit
  • Intrusive
  • Courtesy
  • Essential communication
  • Public decorum
  • Designated areas
  • Safety concerns
  • Noise pollution
  • Digital etiquette
  • Enforcement measures
  • Civic responsibility
  • Silent mode
  • Connectivity
  • Invasiveness
  • Social norms
  • Policy implementation
  • Moderation
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