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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

In many countries good schools and medical facilities are only available in cities. Some people believe that new teachers and doctors should work in rural areas for a few years, but some think everyone should be free to choose where they work, discuss both views and give their opinion.

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In the modern world, it is undeniable that access to quality education and healthcare is often concentrated in urban
areas
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, leaving rural communities underserved. Some people argue that newly qualified teachers and doctors should be required to
work
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 in rural
areas
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 for a certain period,
while
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 others believe that individuals should have the freedom to choose where they
work
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. In
this
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 essay, an attempt will be made to examine both perspectives. Those who support requiring
professionals
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 to
work
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 in rural
areas
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 provide some reasons to justify their view. One of the most apparent reasons is that it helps ensure equal access to essential services. To illustrate, rural communities often face shortages of qualified teachers and doctors, which affects education and healthcare quality.
For instance
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, assigning
professionals
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 to these
areas
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 can improve living standards and reduce inequality between urban and rural regions.
In addition
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,
this
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 experience may help
professionals
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 develop broader skills and a better understanding of diverse communities. Those who disagree with the above idea
also
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 have some points that should not be overlooked. One major reason is that individuals should have the right to choose their career paths and working locations. To clarify, forcing people to
work
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 in specific
areas
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 may reduce job satisfaction and motivation.
For example
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,
professionals
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 who are required to
work
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 in rural regions against their will may not perform effectively or may leave their jobs as soon as possible.
Furthermore
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, offering incentives rather than imposing obligations may be a more sustainable approach. To recapitulate, it is evident that requiring teachers and doctors to
work
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 in rural
areas
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 can improve access to essential services,
while
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 allowing freedom supports motivation and personal choice. Having considered both sides thoroughly, I have personally come to believe that a short-term requirement may be reasonable, but it should be combined with incentives to ensure long-term commitment and satisfaction.

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task response
For task response, your answer covers both sides and gives your own view. To get a higher score, make your opinion even more clear from the start and keep it strong in all parts of the essay.
task response
For task response, your ideas are clear, but some points are a bit general. Add one more direct and real example to make your support stronger.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay is easy to follow and each part has a clear role. To do better, use a few linking words in a more natural way and avoid set phrases too often.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, the main ideas are grouped well, but some sentences could connect more smoothly. Try to build a clearer chain from one sentence to the next.
task response
You answer all parts of the question: both views are discussed and your opinion is given.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear opening, two body parts, and a clear ending.
coherence and cohesion
Each body part stays on one main idea, so the reader can follow your meaning easily.
task response
Your view at the end is balanced and sensible.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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