IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is more important to some people. Why might be this case? Do you think it is a positive or negative situartion?

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Individuals sometimes like to rent an apartment, because it
cheap
Verb problem
is cheap
show examples
 and
they
Correct pronoun usage
there
show examples
 are a few.
However
Linking Words
, they didn'
t
Use synonyms
 have
money
Use synonyms
 to buy one, and that make purchase not affordable for them. I think it totally depends on people's wealth. I don'
t
Use synonyms
 think someone rich can rent a
house
Use synonyms
 and be
under
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the
owner
Check wording
owner's
show examples
 mercy. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss
this
Linking Words
 topic in detail, and I will give my own opinion. First and foremost, stability is something important. Anybody
wants
Correct pronoun usage
who wants
show examples
 to have a lovely
house
Use synonyms
 and cars; it helps them to live without
nervous
Replace the word
nervousness
 or worry.
Linking Words
on
Fix capitalization
On
show examples
 the other hand, there are many people
don'
Correct pronoun usage
who don't
show examples
t
Use synonyms
 have much
money
Use synonyms
. From my
experience
Add a comma
experience,
show examples
 I knew stingy people who had
money
Use synonyms
 but
don'
Wrong verb form
didn't
show examples
t
Use synonyms
 spend it. 
Secondly
Linking Words
, the pros of having your own
house
Use synonyms
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 living without paying
money
Use synonyms
 every
months
Fix the agreement mistake
month
show examples
, and
save
Wrong verb form
saving
show examples
 your
money
Use synonyms
 for yourself and your family.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
 it implies you are very wealthy.
Linking Words
However
Punctuation problem
However,
show examples
 that
not
Verb problem
is not
show examples
 the case forever. My cousin
work
Correct subject-verb agreement
works
show examples
 as a doctor
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 he
prefer
Correct subject-verb agreement
prefers
show examples
 to stay at a hotel, because he thinks renting
Use synonyms
house
Correct article usage
a house
show examples
 will
costs
Wrong verb form
cost
show examples
 him a lot.  There are
also
Linking Words
 cons of having a big
house
Use synonyms
,
relative
Check wording
relatives
show examples
 will come to visit you, maybe regularly, they want to stay, because you own it. In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
contrast, small homes can'
t
Use synonyms
 have a space for others, and 
you
Fix capitalization
You
show examples
 can
if
Punctuation problem
, if
show examples
 you
want
Punctuation problem
want,
show examples
 change the apartment, because it's not eternal. In conclusion, the advantages of purchasing a
house
Use synonyms
 outweigh the disadvantages. But
Linking Words
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
end
Add a comma
end,
show examples
 it's individuals' preferences.
but
Fix capitalization
But
show examples
Linking Words
overall
Punctuation problem
overall,
show examples
 it depends on the wealth and the cities.

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task response
Answer both parts more clearly. Say why people want to own a home, and then say clearly why you think it is good or bad.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one main idea in each body part. Now some ideas change too fast, so the reader can get lost.
task response
Support each main point with a clear reason or one good example. Some examples now do not fit the main point well.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple linking words well, like first, also, however, and in conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Write a stronger conclusion. Repeat your answer in a clear way, not with new mixed ideas.
coherence and cohesion
You have an introduction, body parts, and a conclusion.
task response
You try to give examples from life, like your cousin and people you know.
task response
You show your opinion, and this is important for the essay.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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