IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In many countries schools have severe problems with student behavior? What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Try for free →
There's
debate
Correct article usage
a debate
show examples
 over
highschooler missbehavior
Correct your spelling
high schooler misbehaviour
 and its possible causes. Some people
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
 the
genaration
Correct your spelling
generation
 Z is growing without control and acting out of place with teachers,
this
Linking Words
 can be a result of less structured families,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 have a hard time
to monitor
Wrong verb form
monitoring
show examples
 and
educate
Wrong verb form
educating
show examples
 their children. Nowadays, parents are so concerned with
beign
Correct your spelling
being

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Answer all parts of the task. Write about both causes and solutions.
task response
Make your main idea clear in each part.
task response
Add one real or clear example to support your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear linking words like first, also, because, and in the end.
coherence and cohesion
Finish the essay with a short conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one main idea in one paragraph.
task response
You start with the topic clearly.
task response
You give one cause for bad behavior.
coherence and cohesion
Your first paragraph has a clear direction.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • parental guidance
  • discipline
  • moral guidance
  • social media
  • detrimental
  • bullying
  • peer pressure
  • overcrowded
  • disengagement
  • disruptive behavior
  • behavioral policies
  • code of conduct
  • parental involvement
  • social and emotional learning (SEL)
  • empathy
  • responsible decisions
What to do next:
Look at other essays: