IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Today, more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such palces?

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In recent years, many tourists may face
terrible
Correct article usage
a terrible
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experience
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 when they visit
palces
Correct your spelling
places
 where there are many prohibited and difficult
conditions
Use synonyms
, even though they want to see more attractive areas
such
Linking Words
 as
thae sahra desert
Correct your spelling
the Sahara Desert
 or the Antarctic. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, an attempt will be made to examine the advantages and disadvantages of visiting
places
Use synonyms
 where
conditions
Use synonyms
 are difficult. On the one hand, there are several benefits associated with visiting
places
Use synonyms
 where the authorities set strict rules on visitors.
the
Fix capitalization
The
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 most apparent positive
aspects
Fix the agreement mistake
aspect
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 is that
this
Linking Words
 will make
people
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 enjoy their time
on
Change preposition
in
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 a place that offer an special
experience
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 because everyone will follow these instructions.
to
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To
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 illustrate, when there are difficult
conditions
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to
Change preposition
in
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 any place
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people
Punctuation problem
, people
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aspect
Use the right word
consider
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 the place is not for anyone.
For instance
Linking Words
, parks that set specific
conditions
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 for tourists usually
don
Verb problem
do
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 not
happen
Verb problem
encounter
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 unpredictable circumstances
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 the
EXPERIENCE
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 will be SATISFIED for
people
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 .
Linking Words
therefore
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Therefore
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,
pepole
Correct your spelling
people
 who look for VIP service prefer to choose
tourism
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places
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 where
conditions
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 are strict.
On the other hand
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, there are
also
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 some drawbacks related to
this
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 trend that should not be overlooked. One negative aspect is the potential
distrubtion
Correct your spelling
disruption
 that visitors may feel
it
Punctuation problem
,
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 and
this
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 will NEGATIVELY IMPACT
on
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apply
show examples
the REPUTATION and may lead to
become
Wrong verb form
becoming
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 unattractive
places
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 for tourists.
For example
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,
people
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 usually intend to ask
aothers
Correct your spelling
others
 about their opinion on the
tourism
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 areas and if they receive a negative feadback
this
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 will make them change
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 mind
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 perhaps they will not visit them at all.
Linking Words
consequently
Fix capitalization
Consequently
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,
this
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 has
adverse
Correct article usage
an adverse
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 effect on
national
Correct article usage
the national
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tourism
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 sector. To recapitulate, it is evident that setting
diffcult
Correct your spelling
difficult
conditions
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 on
tourism
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 placec can offer satisfied
experience
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 for
people
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 who seek
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
VIP
serve
Replace the word
service
.
while
Linking Words
 the main drawbacks include challenges related to national
tourism
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 reputation and
reduce
Wrong verb form
reducing
show examples
 the number of . Having considered both sides thoroughly, it can be concluded that
this
Linking Words
 trend has both advantages and disadvantages, and its impact depends largely on
visitors
Check wording
visitors'
show examples
 needs and the nature of these
conditions
Use synonyms
.

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task response
Answer both sides more directly. Say clearly what the good points are for tourists and what the bad points are for tourists.
task response
Your main idea is sometimes not clear. Use simple and exact ideas, and explain them in a short clear way.
task response
Your examples are too general. Add one real and clear example for each main point.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start and end, but some body ideas do not fully match the question.
coherence and cohesion
Linking words are used, but some sentences do not flow well. Keep one main idea in each sentence and connect it step by step.
coherence and cohesion
Some parts are hard to follow because of word choice and grammar mistakes. Shorter sentences will help your meaning stay clear.
task response
You answered both benefit and disadvantage, so you covered the main task.
coherence and cohesion
You gave an introduction and a conclusion, which gives your essay a full shape.
coherence and cohesion
You used paragraphing and basic linking words like 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand'.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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