In many countries paying for things using mobile phones (cell phone) apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or disadvantages ?

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A lot of countries are purchasing
for
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apply
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things using mobile phone
applications
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is
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, which is
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becoming increasingly popular. There are some upsides and downsides to using mobile
applications
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for shopping. From my perspective, the number of benefits more than disadvantages. On the
one
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hand, with
developing
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the development of
mobile
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applications
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applications,
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the number of online shoppers
are
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is
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increasing significantly.
One
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of the main benefits is
able
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being able
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to
reading
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read
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consumer comments.
For instance
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,
individual
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an individual
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who
decide
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decides
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to buy something can look for
the
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apply
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other
customer’s
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customers’
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suggestions and
feedbacks
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feedback
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.
Furthermore
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,
this
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feedbacks play a considerable role
on
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in
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people’s
decision
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decisions
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. The other crucial advantage is time gain.
Applications
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that provide online shopping opportunities usually prevent time wasting.
For example
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, people who want to buy something can rapidly decide what they want, because all options
on
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are on
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the
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apply
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one
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screen.
On the other hand
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, online shopping
applications
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have several downsides.
One
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of the major disadvantages is
bad-quality
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the
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issue
.
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of bad quality.
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Nowadays
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Nowadays,
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there are quiet number of humans complainant
this
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issue. A clear example of
this
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is
people
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when people
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purchase something
and
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, and
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they receive their product. After they do not like the product
and
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,
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they want to return
the product
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it
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.
However
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,
this
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situation
contain
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contains
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more money for cargo. Another downside is security and privacy concerns. For
instcance
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instance
, when the individuals share credit
cart
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card
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information with several
applications
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, some hackers or card thieves
access
Verb problem
can
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easily
,
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access
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and use their money.
To sum up
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, online shopping with several apps
by
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on your
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phone is becoming common, and there are some advantages and disadvantages. In my opinion, if
the
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apply
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people are careful about credit card information, the apps would be more beneficial.

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task response
Answer the main question more clearly. Say early if there are more good points or more bad points, and keep this same idea in all parts.
task response
Give fuller ideas. Some points are too short, so add one more line to explain why each point matters.
task response
Use examples that are more exact and easy to follow. A short real-life style example can make your point stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Make some sentences link more smoothly. Use simple link words like first, also, for example, however, and as a result.
coherence and cohesion
Keep each paragraph focused on one clear idea. This will make your writing easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Check how ideas connect inside sentences. At times the meaning is not fully clear, so use shorter and simpler sentence forms.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion. This gives your essay a good basic shape.
task response
You discuss both good and bad points, so you address the topic in a balanced way.
task response
You use some examples, such as customer comments, saving time, product quality, and card safety.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Mobile payments
  • Biometric authentication
  • Transaction costs
  • Budgeting
  • Technological barriers
  • Privacy concerns
  • Data breaches
  • Identity theft
  • Over-reliance
  • Market fragmentation
  • Competing payment apps
  • Financial inclusion
  • Security features
  • User convenience
  • Cashless transactions
  • Digital wallet
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