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Writing Samples
Band 7

the pie charts and table give information about the total value and sources of fish imported to the us between 1988 and 2000. summarise the information and comparing

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The given pie charts and table illustrate the total number of value and sources
Use synonyms
fish
Change preposition
of fish
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 imported in the USA from 1988 to 2000.
Overall
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, the total value experienced the largest figure throughout the period time given;
while
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 the share of
fish
Use synonyms
 imported from Canada was the highest
percentage
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.
However
Linking Words
, China recorded the lowest ratio in time. The total value of
fish
Use synonyms
 import began, with about 6.57 billion dollars, but
this
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 figure rose to around 8.52 billion dollar and in the final year, it again increased to exactly 10.72 billion dollars.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, in Canada, the proportion of
fish
Use synonyms
 imports had the highest
percentage
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, starting off with 60% in 1988 before falling dramatically to belwo 40% in 1992. By 2000, it again dropped to just below 28%. From Others countries, the ratio of
fish
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 import was the second highest
percentage
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 in 1988, with 27%
,
Punctuation problem
;
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however
Linking Words
, it rose to just 34% in 1992 and again declined to over 20% in 2000. The proportion of
fish
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 purchased from China had the lowest
percentage
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, beginning with 13% in 1988,
then
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 figure rose slightly to approximately 20% in 1992 , and in the
last
Linking Words
 year, it again rose to over 30% in 2000.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words fish, percentage with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 2 times.
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