IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

🔶Nowadays more and more business meetings and business trainings are taking place online. 🔸Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Try for free →
Currently, many conferences and coaching related to
business
Use synonyms
 are carried out through the Internet.
While
Linking Words
 technical glitches are a concerning drawback to
this
Linking Words
, the travel time
that is
Linking Words
 saved is the primary benefit that outweighs any disadvantage. The most serious drawback of online
business
Use synonyms
 meetings and training is technical failure. These need a high-speed internet connection, constant electricity, and the requisite hardware and software to be successful. If one of them fails during a live session, communications will be disrupted suddenly, perhaps causing harm to the people involved.
Last
Linking Words
 year,
for example
Linking Words
, I lost a ten-million-dollar
business
Use synonyms
 offer
due to
Linking Words
 a power outage during a Zoom conference.
However
Linking Words
, technology flaws are uncommon, and the significant amount of time saved by online
business
Use synonyms
 meetings and education is far more significant. The main advantage of online relationships and practice is that individuals do not have to travel long distances or cross borders to participate. It saves a lot of time that would
otherwise
Linking Words
 be wasted on commuting.
Instead
Linking Words
, it may be put to more productive use.
For example
Linking Words
, I hold a Board of Directors meeting through Skype with directors from all around the world, saving a significant amount of money and cross-border travel and allowing them to focus on other important tasks.
This
Linking Words
 is why more and more
Use synonyms
business people
Correct your spelling
businesspeople
 around the world are turning to online coaching and meetings. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 online industry assemblages and training can be obstructed suddenly because of mechanical faults, the undisputed benefit of a massive reduction in travelling undeniably surpasses any hindrance.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Make your main answer more clear in the first part. Say from the start that the good points are stronger than the bad points.
task response
Use more exact words for the topic. Some words like 'relationships', 'practice', and 'industry assemblages' do not fit well here.
task response
Explain your ideas a bit more. Your points are good, but some parts are too short.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one main idea in each body part and link it clearly to your answer.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple linking words well, like 'first', 'for example', 'however', and 'therefore'.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid repeating the same idea with many similar phrases, such as time saving and travel saving in one sentence.
task response
You answer both sides and give a clear opinion that the good points are stronger.
task response
You use real examples to support both the bad point and the good point.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear shape: start, two body parts, and end.
coherence and cohesion
The ideas move in a logical order, with one body part for the bad side and one for the good side.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • save time
  • save money
  • travel costs
  • work faster
  • join from home
  • learn at their own speed
  • recorded lessons
  • flexible schedule
  • reach more people
  • business growth
  • human contact
  • body language
  • build trust
  • teamwork
  • technical problems
  • poor internet connection
  • lose focus
  • pay attention
  • face-to-face communication
  • outweigh the disadvantages
What to do next:
Look at other essays: