IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some students suffer from stress and anxiety after transitioning to university life. What do you think is the cause? How can it be solved?

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Nowadays, stress and anxiety among university
students
Use synonyms
 have become increasingly common.
This
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 essay will explain the main reasons behind
this
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 issue and suggest some effective solutions. Most graduates usually tend to enter
workforce
Correct article usage
the workforce
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, which leads to them focusing more on their
future
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 careers
instead
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 of meeting new people or pursuing their own interests, which is different from their life in high school.
As a result
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, many people see university as a turning point in life.
Therefore
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, anxiety and stress gradually increase
,
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apply
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 as
students
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 start learning new
skills
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,
such
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 as data analysis, communication
skills
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, or presentation
skills
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, which are useful in the
future
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 workplace.
This
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 is especially common among
students
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 who are uncertain about their
future
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 career path. In terms of solutions, career guidance services
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
should be provided by educational systems, which can help
students
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 to identify their strengths and abilities. Meanwhile, internships provide many opportunities for young adults to develop
skills
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 in the workplace and demonstrate their abilities in
environment
Correct article usage
an environment
show examples
 that may become their
future
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 workplaces. On top of that, workshops should be promoted to provide information and help
students
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 stay informed and find jobs more easily after graduation. As for individuals, staying curious and exploring new things is one of the keys that can effectively reduce their lack of direction in life.
Overall
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, stress and anxiety among university
students
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 are mainly caused by uncertainty about their
future
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 career paths and the challenges of adapting to independent living.
However
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, these problems can be effectively reduced through support from schools,
as well as
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students
Use synonyms
' efforts to explore their interests and develop useful
skills
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.

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task response
For task response, answer the first question more directly. Your cause is there, but it is not fully clear at the start of body 1.
task response
For task response, give one more clear cause of stress in university life, such as money, study load, or living away from home.
task response
For task response, add a more real and specific example to support your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, some ideas in body 1 are not linked in a smooth way. Try to move step by step from cause to result.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, check sentence grammar because a few parts break the flow, such as 'services and should be provided' and 'in environment'.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, use clearer topic sentences at the start of each body paragraph.
task response
For task response, you answered both parts of the question: causes and solutions.
task response
For task response, your conclusion clearly repeats your main ideas.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay has a clear intro, body, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, you used linking words like 'As a result', 'Therefore', 'Meanwhile', and 'Overall'.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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