Topic: some people think governments should spend more money on healthcare than on the military. Do you agree or disagree with this?

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Authorities have to spend more money on

healthcare

Use synonyms

systems

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rather than on the military. In my opinion, I totally agree

Change preposition

with

show examples

this

Linking Words

statement because it leads to longer

life

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expectancy

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in society and reduces major health problems. First of all, if governments start to take care of the

heathcare

Correct your spelling

healthcare

systems

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such

Linking Words

as hospitals and clinics, it will lead to

incerasing

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increasing

life

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expectancy

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among people. People will start to live longer

Punctuation problem

apply

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and healthier lives.

In other words

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

means fewer chronic diseases and a longer lifespan.

In addition

Linking Words

, more spending on

this

Linking Words

system leads to better

healthcare

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services, which results in effective treatments for people who suffer from serious illnesses.

For example

Linking Words

, Japan has a high level of

life

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expectancy

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because it allocates a large budget to

healthcare

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institutions. Another point to consider is that

healthcare

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systems

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currently face many different challenges all over the world, which highlights their importance. It is possible to say that these issues and crises will not be solved unless the government spends more money.

Moreover

Linking Words

, these problems include waiting for a long time to see a doctor in the emergency room or getting a late appointment for an operation that may threaten your

life

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For example

Linking Words

, patients may have to wait for a long time to see a doctor or receive treatment, which can threaten their lives

and

Punctuation problem

, and

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they live under

Correct article usage

apply

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high pressure. In conclusion, the authorities should take better care of

healthcare

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systems

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, which results in many benefits for society,

such

Linking Words

as increasing

life

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expectancy

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and reducing major health problems.

m2002iq

May 1, 2026

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task response

Make your main answer more exact. Say clearly why health should get more money than the army, not only why health is good.

task response

Add one more clear idea about the army, for example when army money is needed and why health is still more important.

task response

Use examples with more detail. Your Japan example is useful, but it needs more clear facts or explanation.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a clear start, body, and end, but some ideas repeat. Try to make each body part do a different job.

coherence and cohesion

Link ideas in a smoother way. Some parts sound the same, like waiting a long time to see a doctor, so you can join them better.

coherence and cohesion

Make topic sentences stronger. At the start of each body paragraph, show the main point in a direct way.

task response

You answer the question and give a clear opinion from the start.

task response

Your main ideas are easy to understand and stay on the topic.

coherence and cohesion

The essay has an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

coherence and cohesion

You use simple linking words like first of all, in addition, moreover, and in conclusion.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

257 words

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Topic: some people think governments should spend more money on healthcare than on the military. Do you agree or disagree with this?

Financial education should be a mandatory component of the school program. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Some people believe that it is wrong to keep animals in zoos, while others think that zoos are both entertaining and ecologically important. Discuss both views.