IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

some people believe that learning a foreign language should be mandatory in schools .Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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It is often argued that learning another
language
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 should be compulsory for
students
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 in schools,
while
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 others believe that it should not be mandatory. I strongly agree with
this
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 view of studying a foreign
language
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 in schools because it enhances
communication
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skills
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 and career prospects.
This
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 essay will discuss these reasons in detail with relevant examples.
To begin
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 with, one of the primary reasons why I support
this
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 view is that learning a second
speech
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language
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 significantly aids in
communication
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skills
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.
This
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 is because individuals who are fluent in another global
language
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 can effectively connect with
people
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 of diverse cultural and
different
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apply
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linguistic backgrounds.
For instance
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,
students
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 who can speak foreign languages
such
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 as French or English not only travel or study abroad alone but do so confidently as well.
As a result
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, it is an excellent idea to teach a second
language
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along with
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 the mother tongue.
Therefore
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, it is evident that with effective
communication
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skills
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, they can build relationships and exchange their ideas across the world.
Furthermore
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, another compelling point is that learning a second
language
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 can highly enhance career prospects for
people
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.
This
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 is particularly important because nowadays employers seek employees who can interact with international clients and colleagues.
For example
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, many multinational
companies
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 prefer candidates who are proficient in global languages so they can effectively handle overseas business deals.
Consequently
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, if
companies
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 hire
people
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 who can speak another
language
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, they can expand their businesses globally.
Hence
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,
it is clear that
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students
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 who are good at different speeches not only secure their jobs in large national
companies
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 but
also
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 in international
companies
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. In conclusion,
although
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 some
people
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 believe that learning a foreign
language
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 should not be mandatory, I firmly believe that it should be compulsory in school because it helps
students
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 develop better
communication
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skills
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along
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, along
show examples
 with career opportunities.

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task response
Answer the question in a more direct way all through the essay, not only in the start and end.
task response
Give ideas with more depth. Explain how and why in a fuller way.
task response
Use examples that feel more real and more exact.
coherence and cohesion
Keep each body part focused on one main idea and develop it step by step.
coherence and cohesion
Link some sentences more smoothly. At times, the flow is a little repeated.
coherence and cohesion
Be careful with word choice like 'second speech' and 'different speeches' because this can make meaning less clear.
task response
You clearly state your opinion in the introduction and keep the same view in the essay.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Main ideas are easy to follow and each paragraph has one clear topic.
task response
Examples are relevant to the topic of school, travel, and work.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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