IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays more and more business meetings and business trainings are taking place online. 🔸Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

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In
this
Linking Words
 modern era, it is undeniable that
businesses
Check wording
business
show examples
 techniques
has been
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 evolved too much
accross
Correct your spelling
across
 the world. These days
businesess
Correct your spelling
businesses
 are
organizing
Change the spelling
organising
show examples
 their
meetings
Use synonyms
 and training online.
Although
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due to
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 online training employee will not
able
Verb problem
be able
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 to learn fast
and
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
and will not
able
Verb problem
be able
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 to explain their points well in meeting
Linking Words
while
Punctuation problem
while,
show examples
 online
meetings
Use synonyms
 and trainings will help employee to enjoy their time at home
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
also
Linking Words
 employer could
safe
Use the right word
save
show examples
 their money. The
Use synonyms
companies
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company's
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 employees will have
problem
Correct article usage
a problem
show examples
to understand
Wrong verb form
understanding
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 their responsibilities and can get
confuse
Replace the word
confused
 about the work.To illustrate, some
workers
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workers'
show examples
 responsibilities can be hard to explain
Punctuation problem
, rather
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rather showing in person more clearly
Correct word order
but are more clearly shown in person
show examples
.
For instance
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, as per a recent survey, 90% of workers
become successful in their
Correct word order
apply
show examples
companies
Use synonyms
 who do offline training with their employers as compared to
onlines employess
Correct your spelling
online employees
 who have only 60%.
In addition
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, employers will have trouble
to explain
Wrong verb form
explaining
show examples
 their problems and
solution
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solutions
show examples
 to their teams. During
Use synonyms
companies
Check wording
companies'
show examples
meetings
Use synonyms
 and trainings,
managment
Correct your spelling
management
 will
able
Verb problem
be able
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 to save their money by paying less
than
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
to their employees. To clarify,
companies
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 will not pay transportation fares and
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also will
Correct word order
will also
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 pay half pay
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 that particular day
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 will give profit to
companies
Use synonyms
.
For example
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, Amazon always try to
organize
Change the spelling
organise
show examples
meetings
Use synonyms
 and training online to their employess
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 will provide them
more
Change preposition
with more
show examples
 benefits.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, people will
able
Verb problem
be able
show examples
 to enjoy time with their family members
while
Linking Words
 attending
meetings
Use synonyms
 online at home. To recapitulate, big
businesss
Correct your spelling
businesses
 always try to take work from their employees
remotly
Correct your spelling
remotely
 because it will help them to save their salary amount and spend
their
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
most of their
with
Check wording
time with
show examples
family
Correct determiner usage
their family
show examples
. In my
opnion
Correct your spelling
opinion
, merits outweigh the demerits of online
meetings
Use synonyms
 and trainings of business.

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task response
Answer the main question more clearly. Say early if the good points are stronger than the bad points, and keep this view the same all through the essay.
task response
Explain each main idea more. Some ideas are too short or not fully clear, like why online meetings save money and why online training makes learning harder.
task response
Use examples that feel real and fit the point well. Some examples look weak or not fully true, so they do not help enough.
coherence and cohesion
Put one clear main idea in each body paragraph. This will make your essay easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas in a smoother way. Some sentences jump fast from one point to another.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence order and meaning. A few lines are hard to follow because the words are not in a clear order.
task response
You gave a clear opinion in the end that the good points are stronger than the bad points.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task response
You tried to discuss both sides before giving your final view.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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