IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The table shows data about underground railway systems in six major cities with date opened, kilometres or route and passenger numbers per year in millions. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The table illustrates the comparative scenario of five prominent
metropolitans
Replace the word
metropolises
 regarding the information of underground
railway
Use synonyms
 establishments based on the dates of inauguration, total distance of the routes and number of
passengers
Use synonyms
 carried in
millions
Use synonyms
 annually. London underground
railway
Use synonyms
 station appears to be the oldest one
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 was established in 1863 having the largest route simultaneously. Though in terms of carrying total
Use synonyms
passengers
Add a comma
passengers,
show examples
 it stands in third position
accounting
Punctuation problem
, accounting
show examples
775
Change preposition
for 775
show examples
Use synonyms
millions
Check wording
million
show examples
 yearly.
Then
Linking Words
 comes
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
another city called Paris
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 had its first
undergound
Correct your spelling
underground
railway
Use synonyms
to be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
started in 1990
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 its distance was nearly two hundred Kilometers.
Surprissingly
Correct your spelling
Surprisingly
, it carried more
passengers
Use synonyms
 per year than
London
Correct article usage
the London
show examples
railway
Use synonyms
numbering
Punctuation problem
, numbering
show examples
 about 1191
Use synonyms
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
. Tokyo underground
railway
Use synonyms
 station seems distinct from
five
Correct determiner usage
the other five
show examples
other town
Fix the agreement mistake
towns
show examples
 as it bears the largest number of
passengers
Use synonyms
 compared
others
Change preposition
to the others
show examples
. Nearly two thounsands
millions
Use synonyms
passengers
Use synonyms
 are transported by
this
Linking Words
 station
being
Punctuation problem
, being
show examples
 merely 155 Kilometres long
way
Check wording
apply
show examples
. Noticeably, Kyoto has the shortest route and
smallest
Correct article usage
the smallest
show examples
 number of
passengers
Use synonyms
. Two cities have been mentioned from the United States of America
Linking Words
whereas
Punctuation problem
, whereas
show examples
 Los Angeles has emerged as the newest one.
While
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 Washington
DC
Punctuation problem
, DC
show examples
 dated back to 1976
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 Los Angeles was opened in
this
Linking Words
 very century.

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words railway, passengers, millions with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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