IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

write a letter t the council as you are not happy with their decision of turning park into car parking .give them your introduction,why it would be negative for the locality and give them any suitable alternatives

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Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to express my resentment with
regards
Replace the word
regard
 to
council’s
Correct article usage
the council’s
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decision
Use synonyms
 to
covert
Use the right word
convert
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 the park into car parking.My name is Rajdeep Kaur
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 I have been living in
this
Linking Words
 town since my birth. Since
Linking Words
then
Punctuation problem
then,
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 I usually go to the park with my grandparents.I firmly believe that your
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such
Correct determiner usage
apply
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decision
Use synonyms
 might have
negative
Correct article usage
a negative
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 impact on the people living
nearly
Rephrase
nearby
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. There are numerous reasons which can demonstrate that you should rethink
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
your
decision
Use synonyms
 since
this
Linking Words
 place is suitable for people of all ages
from
Punctuation problem
, from
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 children to elder ones. Young children usually play different recreational games and do various fun activities.
On the other hand
Linking Words
 , elderly people
also
Linking Words
 spend some quality time with their companions.
However
Linking Words
, closing down
park
Correct article usage
the park
show examples
 would be an appropriate
decision
Use synonyms
 for them. I would like to suggest you with an alternative with
regards
Replace the word
regard
 to the abovementioned issue, as car parking is
also
Linking Words
 essential in our town.
So
Punctuation problem
So,
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 in order to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
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 people’s demand regarding car
parking
Punctuation problem
parking,
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 you could consider a spacious ground near the library
at
Change preposition
in
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 the west of the town. I hope you will consider my advice. Yours
Sincerely
Fix capitalization
sincerely
show examples
, Rajdeep Kaur

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task response
Task response: You answer all parts of the task, but some ideas need more clear support. Add one more clear bad effect on the area.
task response
Task response: Your tone is mostly formal, but a few parts sound a bit direct or unclear. Use more polite and exact phrases.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: The letter has a clear start, middle, and end. Still, some sentences do not link well. Use simple link words like also, because, so, and therefore.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: One paragraph has mixed ideas. Keep one main idea in each paragraph.
task response
Task response: You give your name, say why you write, explain why the plan is bad, and give another place for car parking.
task response
Task response: The letter keeps a formal style in most parts and ends in a polite way.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Your letter is easy to follow overall, with a clear order of ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: You use paragraphing, and the opening and closing fit a formal letter.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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