Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements and this set bad example to young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Contemporary society is increasingly dominated by celebrity culture, in which public figures are often recognised more for their glamour and wealth than for their genuine achievements. I strongly agree that
this
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trend sets a negative example for young
people
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.
This
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essay will examine the reasons behind
this
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phenomenon and its harmful effects. On the one hand, several factors explain why celebrities are more associated with luxurious lifestyles than with professional accomplishments.
Firstly
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,
media
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platforms tend to prioritise sensational content, as images of expensive cars, designer clothing, and exotic holidays attract far more attention than stories about hard work or success.
Furthermore
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, social
media
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has amplified
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trend significantly.
For instance
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, many reality television personalities have gained millions of followers simply by showcasing their lavish lifestyles.
In addition
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, influencer culture promotes unrealistic standards by presenting carefully curated images of perfection, which can lead young
people
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to value material success over meaningful achievement.
On the other hand
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,
this
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obsession with celebrity culture can have serious consequences for younger generations.
Firstly
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, it encourages superficial values, causing young
people
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to admire wealth and appearance rather than effort and talent.
For example
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, many teenagers are more familiar with international celebrities than with local role models who have made genuine contributions to society.
Secondly
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, constant exposure to idealised lifestyles can negatively affect mental health, leading to feelings of inadequacy, anxiety, and low self-esteem.
As a result
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, young
people
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may become less motivated to pursue long-term goals,
instead
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seeking quick fame or external validation. In conclusion, the modern focus on celebrities’ glamour and wealth is largely driven by
media
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and social platforms, and I firmly believe that it has a detrimental impact on young
people
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. Encouraging
media
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literacy and promoting positive role models are essential steps in addressing
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issue.

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task response
For task response, you answer the question well and your view is clear from start to end. To get a higher score, add one more direct idea about how some famous people may also give a good example, then show why your side is still stronger.
task response
For task response, your examples are good, but they are a bit general. Try to add one more clear and real example to make your points stronger.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay is easy to follow and each paragraph has one main idea. To improve more, use a few linking words with more care, because 'Firstly' appears many times and feels a little repeated.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, some sentences are long. You can mix long and short sentences more, so your ideas feel even clearer.
task response
For task response, you fully answer the question and clearly say that you strongly agree.
task response
For task response, your ideas are relevant and well explained, especially the points about media, social media, and young people’s mental health.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay has a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a strong conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, each paragraph stays on one main topic, so the essay is smooth and easy to read.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • superficial attributes
  • sensationalism
  • idolize
  • materialism
  • philanthropy
  • glamour
  • achievements
  • role models
  • humanitarian
  • influence
  • media portrayal
  • public adoration
  • celebrity worship
  • young individuals
  • unrealistic standards
  • intellectual success
  • public interest
  • professional recognition
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