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Writing Samples
Band 5

📝 Some people think that printed books are no longer necessary in this digital era as all writing can be stored electronically. Other think that printed books still play important role. Discus both views and give your opinion.

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There is an ongoing debate over
weather
Use the right word
whether
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 printed
books
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 are still playing
crucial
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a crucial
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 role in
this
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 fully
modernized
Change the spelling
modernised
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 world
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while
Punctuation problem
, while
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 at the same time electronic
books
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 are gaining more popularity among individuals.
While
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 some think that live
books
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 can not be replaced at all , I agree with those who argue that it is better to read electronically. On the one hand, it could be argued that
,
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apply
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 ordinary
books
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 provide better focus and comprehension. By reading
them
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them,
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 individuals will have an opportunity to simply delve into
Use synonyms
book
Correct article usage
the book
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 and understand comprehensively
as
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, as
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 it enables
to
Correct pronoun usage
them to
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 highlight or take some notes if you are needed
in them
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apply
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
, live
books
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 are health beneficial. Rather than spending so much time in front of
screen
Correct article usage
the screen
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 , we can simply borrow a
book
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 which is easier for our eyes.
Linking Words
Additionally
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Additionally,
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 people will simply avoid facing health problems and acknowledge knowledge in
easier
Correct article usage
an easier
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 way. Despite these arguments, I side with those who believe that electronic
books
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 are more convenient and cheaper to read. First of
all
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all,
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 when reading electronic
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books
Punctuation problem
books,
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 we can
just
Rephrase
apply
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simply find
it
Fix the agreement mistake
them
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 on the internet
instead
Linking Words
 of commuting to the
libraries
Check wording
library
show examples
 and searching for
specific
Correct article usage
a specific
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 type of
book
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 that we are curious about.
This
Linking Words
 opportunity enables individuals , especially people who have
busy
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a busy
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 schedule with full of work and studies, to not waste their time
for
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apply
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getting
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book
Correct article usage
a book
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.
Linking Words
Furthermore
Add a comma
Furthermore,
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 e-
books
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 have
an
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apply
show examples
instant access
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as
Punctuation problem
, as
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 a result of which it is affordable for everyone's pocket or completely
free
Punctuation problem
free,
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 as you can download them from the different websites that are available for everyone.
For
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instance
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instance,
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 there are some sites in Uzbekistan
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such
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, such
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 as “ kitobxon”
where
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, where
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 you can find any kind of
book
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 that you are engaged in
weather
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, whether
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 it is romantic, fiction or even non-fiction. In conclusion,
while
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 there are countable benefits from reading printed
books
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 , I believe that in our developed world
electronic
Punctuation problem
, electronic
show examples
books
Use synonyms
 are more convenient and portable to use.

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task response
Answer both sides more fully. You did this, but the side for printed books needs a bit more detail.
task response
Make your opinion very clear in the introduction and keep it the same in the body.
task response
Use clearer main ideas in each body paragraph. One main idea, then explain it, then give an example.
task response
Some ideas are hard to follow because of wrong word choice, like 'live books' and 'weather'. Use simple correct words.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear shape: introduction, two body paragraphs, and conclusion. This is good.
coherence and cohesion
Linking words are used, but sometimes too often or not well. Use simple links like 'first', 'also', 'however', and 'for example'.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are too long. Shorter sentences will make your meaning clearer.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each sentence connects well to the next one. A few parts feel sudden or repeated.
task response
You discussed both views and gave your opinion. This matches the task well.
task response
You included one real example about a website in Uzbekistan. This helps support your point.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is easy to follow overall because it has clear paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion clearly repeats your opinion.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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