IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart shows the changes that took place in three different areas of crime in Newport city centre from 2003 to 2012. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The line graph depicts the
changes
Use synonyms
 that took place in three different
location
Fix the agreement mistake
locations
show examples
 of crime in Newport city centre from 2003 until 2012.
Overall
Linking Words
, it shows that the number of
incidents
Use synonyms
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 burglary
is
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
 decreased gradually
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 the rest of the crimes do not have
spesific
Correct your spelling
specific
changes
Use synonyms
. In the first two
years
Add a comma
years,
show examples
 there is only a small climb
of
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 number of
incidents
Use synonyms
 from burglary to 3550 in 2004,
then
Linking Words
 it kept
fell
Wrong verb form
falling
show examples
 gradually
overtime
Use the right word
over time
show examples
 until
2008
Punctuation problem
2008,
show examples
 to 1100
incidents
Use synonyms
Punctuation problem
. Moreover
show examples
moreover
Linking Words
,
Linking Words
moreover
Rephrase
apply
show examples
from 2008 to
2012
Punctuation problem
2012,
show examples
 there is only a small fluctuation
of
Change preposition
in the number of
show examples
changes
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the number of
incidents
Use synonyms
 from car theft and robbery
start
Wrong verb form
started
show examples
 roughly at 2600 and 550 in 2003, and
then
Linking Words
 for the next two years it grew slowly to 2650 and 570 in 2005.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, there is a significant fluctuation
came
Correct pronoun usage
that came
show examples
 from the car theft crime,
while
Linking Words
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 to
robbery
Punctuation problem
robbery,
show examples
 there
is not any
Correct subject-verb agreement
are no
show examples
 big
changes
Use synonyms
through out
Correct your spelling
throughout
 the years.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "moreover".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 79%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words changes, incidents with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "changes" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.
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