Some people think that formal education should start for children as early as posssible,while others think that it should not start until 7 years of age. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Many people believe that academic education should be commenced as soon as
possible
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possible,
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while
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it's
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its
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counterpart
think
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thinks
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children must wait till the age of 7 years.
This
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essay will discuss both the advantages and disadvantages of early schooling
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whereas
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, whereas
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, in my opinion
imparting
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, imparting
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knowledge at the right pace could be beneficial. There are numerous benefits of early education
of the
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for
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children.
Firstly
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,
enfant's
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children's
minds are still in developement phase
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hence
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, hence
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,
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they
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can grasp the concepts sooner
which
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, which
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results in better understanding. Children can be taught various subjects
while
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playing with toys or doing outdoor activities . To illustrate
this
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, nowadays kindergarteners learn about shapes and colours with the aid of cognitive toys.
Moreover
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, students who
shows
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show
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better academic results
forms
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form
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the base for their
succesful
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successful
future in
unconscious
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the unconscious
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mind sooner than others.
However
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, not all fingers are
same
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the same
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therefore
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; therefore
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, many
a
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apply
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times
where
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, when
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one child is learning at a fast pace
the
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, the
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other
get
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gets
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lost in the concepts.
Consequently
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, it takes away the fun from studying as
child
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children
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get pressured of maintaing the pace with the class. 
Also
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, it creates an unpleasant environment at home because parents
wants
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want
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their kids to excel in the courses.Not only the fun but their interest is lost too if the subjects seem too difficult
to
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for
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them. In my opinion,
while
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formal education is
essentiel
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essential
for the success of an offspring
but
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,
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it should not be a burden on tiny shoulders. Every enfant must be provided with their own time
at
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for
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literacy.

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task response
Write your opinion more clearly in the end. Say exactly if school should start early or at age 7.
task response
Support each main idea with one clear reason and one simple example.
task response
Some ideas are good, but a few are hard to understand. Use shorter and clearer sentences.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, middle, and end, which is good.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a simple way, like first, however, for example, and in conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Check that each paragraph has one main idea only. This will make your writing easier to follow.
task response
You discussed both sides of the topic.
task response
You gave your own opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
The paragraph order is clear.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
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