IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Although several studies prove that cars are one of the main reasons of environmental pollution, some people claim tha

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Vehicles can cause
serious environmental problems extremely
Correct word order
extremely serious environmental problems
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. Even though some researchers argue that private
cars
Use synonyms
 are one of the primary causes of environmental degradation, I believe that
cars
Use synonyms
 negatively affect not only nature but
also
Linking Words
 endangered animals. It is widely believed that vehicles may play a crucial role in our
nature
Check wording
environment
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 in terms of ecological challenges.
This
Linking Words
 is mainly because
cars
Use synonyms
 may spread pollution into the atmosphere, which affects the plants. It becomes obvious that if individuals reduce their
use
Use synonyms
 of
cars
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, they will probably enhance
sustainable
Correct article usage
the sustainable
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 development of the environment.
For example
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,
people
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of
Change preposition
in
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 the UK who
use
Use synonyms
 public transport are assisting development counters in terms of nature.
As a result
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, England is considered a destination for tourism
Punctuation problem
, so
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so that it
Correct word choice
which
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 can boost the economy.
In addition
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, some
people
Use synonyms
 argue that using automobiles might effectively harm endangered species. They support their argument with
this
Linking Words
 clarification
:
Punctuation problem
:
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 when
people
Use synonyms
 most of the time
use
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 private
cars
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, they may
extend
Verb problem
increase
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 carbon emissions
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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disperse
Correct subject-verb agreement
disperses
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 the animals.
For instance
Linking Words
, China, which produces
cars
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, contributes to air pollution and climate change.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it has harmed wildlife and reduced animal populations. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
cars
Use synonyms
Linking Words
due
Change preposition
apply
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to
saving
Wrong verb form
save
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 time, they change the climate,
such
Linking Words
 as by spreading carbon emissions and deforestation. In my opinion, the government must support the
use
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 of public transport and
increasing
Wrong verb form
increase the use of
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 the portal in order that developed and developing countries.

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task response
Answer the full question more clearly. Say your view in a direct way and keep it the same in all parts.
task response
Give main ideas with clearer support. Some points are too general or not fully explained.
task response
Use examples that fit your main point better. Some examples are not clear or do not prove the idea well.
coherence and cohesion
Organize each body paragraph around one clear main idea. Then add one or two sentences to explain it.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas more smoothly. Some sentences jump too fast from one point to another.
coherence and cohesion
Make the conclusion clearer. Restate your view and give a short final thought.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear essay shape with introduction, two body parts, and conclusion.
task response
You stay mostly on the topic of cars and the environment.
task response
You try to add examples from real countries, which is a good essay skill.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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