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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie chart below shows the main reasons why agricultural land becomes less productive. The table shows how these causes affected three regions of the world during the 1990s.

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The pie chart illustrates the key causes about agricultural area which turns lower productive. The table provides
percentage
Correct article usage
the percentage
show examples
 of how these reasons influenced three parts of the world in 1990.
Overall
Linking Words
, over-grazing accounts for the largest part of
land
Use synonyms
degradation
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
 other causes make up the smallest share.
In addition
Linking Words
, Europe shows the highest percentage
Linking Words
while
Punctuation problem
, while
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 North America
the
Verb problem
shows the
show examples
 lowest figures for
Use synonyms
degradation
Replace the word
degraded
land
Use synonyms
. Turning to the pie chart, over-grazing takes the largest
proportions
Fix the agreement mistake
proportion
show examples
 of
land
Use synonyms
degradation
Use synonyms
 - 35%.
the
Fix capitalization
The
show examples
 second most significant part is deforestation
is
Correct pronoun usage
, which is
show examples
 30%. The proportion for over-cultivation was marginally lower than the former categories, and accounted for 28% of the total. Other causes accounted
the
Change preposition
for the
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 smallest proportion - 7%. As for the table, the highest percentage of
land
Use synonyms
degradation
Use synonyms
 was in Europe. The figures for deforestation 9.8%
for
Punctuation problem
, for
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 over-cultivation 7.7%
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 for over-grazing 5.5.
total
Correct article usage
The total
show examples
land
Use synonyms
 degraded
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 Europe accounted 23%. As for Oceania, the number for deforestation, over-cultivation and over-grazing was 1.7%, 0% and 11.3%
respectively
Punctuation problem
, respectively
show examples
.
Total
Correct article usage
The total
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 number was 13%,
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
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 came second. Regarding figures for North
America
Add a comma
America,
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 they were the lowest.
Total
Correct article usage
The total
show examples
land
Use synonyms
 degraded account only 5% of
total
Correct article usage
the total
show examples
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words land, degradation with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportions" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Agricultural productivity
  • Deforestation
  • Over-cultivation
  • Overgrazing
  • Soil erosion
  • Nutrient depletion
  • Land degradation
  • Soil compaction
  • Fertility
  • Preventive measures
  • Sustainable farming practices
  • Environmental impact
  • Economic implications
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